


Do you believe in reincarnation?

by Aclockworksony



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga), Death Note: Another Note
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Humor, Bisexual Yagami Sayu, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Childhood Trauma, Daddy Issues, Developing Relationship, Emotional Manipulation, England (Country), Family Issues, God Complex, Heavy Angst, Identity Issues, Light may or may not win, Manipulation, Narcissism, Original Character(s), Philosophy, References to Canon, Tension, Theology, Who Knows? I don't, Yagami Light is a Dick, lots of swearing, possible lawlight?, sachiko yagami - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:47:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 44,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24156871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aclockworksony/pseuds/Aclockworksony
Summary: Do you believe in reincarnation? I do.They don't. They should. Life repeats itself, just in different ways.You'll see that, you will. Things keep happening. Things keep repeating, just differently.It's different this time.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 16
Kudos: 26





	1. Well, do you?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm unsure as to where this story will go, but I'll figure it out as I go, Eh?  
> Please enjoy.

Ryuk had never been much of a schemer. The shinigami preferred to see his long life as it came rather than making something happen. To live as a spectator isn’t so bad when there’s something worth watching unfold. Sadly for Ryuk, the land of the living isn’t as enthralling as he had wished for.

_Do you believe in reincarnation? I do. I think God likes playing tricks on us. Making us live our lives, just in different ways. Different iterations and scenarios. It’s either that or there is no God, which I neglect thinking. If Death God’s exist, you can’t deny the possibility of a divine creator. If there are God’s who take lives, I think it’s only safe to assume that there are those who create lives. Well, in this case I believe that they just like fucking around with a significant few humans. You could call it favouritism, these Gods or a singular God are probably just as bored as their counterparts. They must have some favourites? Surely… Actually, I think these ‘creators’ are much worse than any shinigami. The worst they can do is drop down a Death Note or kill somebody. However, ‘creators’? Well, they create. They make things happen. Dictating something as simple as where somebody is born or where somebody’s parents meet can mean the creation of the most infamous or famous person in history. Of course, this is all purely hypothetical. Who knows if they exist? I certainly don’t- even if they do exist, I wouldn’t be able to explain how they worked. Things like that are beyond human comprehension. So, what am I doing? I am a simple narrator. I don’t know why I’m going to tell this story. It’s long, bound to be boring at some points and to be fair it’s going to be filled with my own commentary which you will not give a single shit about...Unless you find me entertaining! I hope you do. I think I’m funny. Right...Where was I? Ah, Ryuk. Shinigami, very cool. I’ll continue now_.

Ryuk felt like the human world was on repeat at times, things felt awfully familiar like he had witnessed it all before. World politics, actors, murder, violence, immorality, philisophical bullshit, the self rightous. Nothing that he deemed interesting to witness before. However- with that familiarity that he felt… He felt it with a human life. Somewhere in Japan. What was his name…? Light. Light Yagami. For a reason he couldn’t explain, he was intrigued by it- he wanted to mess with it. This specific human life, despite not living for very long.

The child’s father was an affluent detective, well respected in the force with barely enough time to spare at home. The mother...well. She was a mother, what did she do? The woman raised her children, teaching them good values and hardwork, classic. A bit boring though, eh? Ah, yes and a sister. Ryuk didn’t care for the sister- she had barely just learnt her first words and still crawled around at a sluggish pace...She might have been premature? The Shinigami couldn’t be bothered to remember such insignificant details. (She was.) In spite of this family which was bound to be like any other, Ryuk felt like doing something that could count as ‘character building.’ That’s for later though. The God of death didn’t like meddling with lives unless they had a long lifespan. That was just how he did things. Using the Death Note in such a way proved to be beneficial, it didn’t require much work, he’s in no rush to die- but by no means is he putting in much effort. Ryuk had spent quite some time inspecting the family. Specifically Light. Who at this point must have been around...what? 7? Although, when Ryuk found his intrigue may have been well founded must have been around 2 years old. Light, at such a young age was very intelligent. Already having an above average reading level for his age, being rather proficient at maths and so on… Impressive for a 2 year old. Who knows what that might mean for the future? It appears that his instincts may have struck gold. The world could have a genius on their hands.

Surprisingly enough. They really did! Light had been labelled a prodigy- but his parents didn’t want to subject him to the life of a prodigy for some reason unbeknownst to anybody. Sochiro, Light’s father had just deemed it too strenuous for a child to live a life like that. All they decided to do was allow him to take higher level classes as well as a tutor outside of school while keeping him in public education with those his age- having social skills may get you further than being a genius. Part of it was definitely money though. They earned enough, but enough for a private school? No. Especially since they were planning for another child. Oh well, it’s better than being raised in an elitist environment. Stress from doing public exams may end up doing the boy some good rather than otherwise. Competition is good for the mind and soul.

_Is that enough set up for you? I hope it is...Bloody hell. This is what I mean by reincarnation. That familiarity had to be caused by something- I think a past life. Separate timeline, whatever it is, it’s a perfectly acceptable excuse. So if things feel familiar or whatever...Blame it on that, yeah? Cool. Let’s speed things along, ooh. Death. Very nice. Love a good bit of death, get’s the story going._

The Yagami’s had been living a perfectly fine life- Light at 10 years old, being his sister’s elder of 4 years, who was now walking about and talking in broken sentences at 6. Very whiny, annoying child. Light wasn’t like that- he had been a boy of few but very complicated words and rarely cried, although his work ethic had already begun to peer through at that age. You can’t say the same for Sayu. Light was already writing elegant stories and figuring out complicated arithmetic in his head, Sayu on the other hand was just barely getting a hand on spelling, just like any normal child. Duality. The normal and the genius. Although, Light barely thought of that and simply liked entertaining his sister- feeling a protective authority over her. Knowing it was his job to care and keep for her when their mother and father weren’t available.

Speaking of, it seems as though Sochiro, despite being desperate for a happy family dynamic is already estranged from his children. Long, inflexible hours and being absolutely exhausted both mentally and physically when coming home from work seems to mean being the weakest link in the family of four. Tragic, that is. This didn’t mean that Sochiro hadn’t been trying, with any time he could spare- he was with his family. Sachiko was the primary caregiver though, but...The children did love their father. Perhaps Sayu couldn’t tell- she knew that he was her father and that meant loving him no matter what. Light could feel the strain even if he didn’t know what it was- but in reality instead of resentment for their lack of time together growing up, Light saw a hard working attitude and somebody who was dedicated to his cause, dangerously so. Justice, right? Very subjective subject. No need to ponder for now. Important later though. Despite seeing that, Light barely knew his father. Sayu was the same. In fact, their father barely knew them. You can’t forge a relationship with broken hours and fatigue. It just doesn’t work. Even if Sochiro was a good father- what good is that if you don’t know your own children’s basic interests. Light liked books of the fantasy type- elves, knights, dragons. Sayu had a thorough fascination with fluffy animal toys- chewing and clutching them in her arms. At this point, her favourite was a sloth. A blue sloth made of a basic fabric and covered in felt that brushed against the fingers aggressively as it pushed past each strand of material. An alien feeling in which Sayu seemed to relish at such an age.

Despite Light’s bookishness and Sayu’s love of toys- the man failed miserably at gift giving. He was at a loss. Thank goodness Sachiko knew enough about her children to buy the gifts for her husband. That’s a bit embarrassing though? Isn’t it? Not knowing what to buy for your children.

Regardless, Sochiro was going to give them something much better. An experience. Well...it was caused by work. It’s an experience nonetheless. To go elsewhere specifically another country is quite an experience. So, where are they headed? England, specifically the south. Why?

_This part is cool._

The children had been living in blissful ignorance of this news. However, there is nothing quite like mass murder. Specifically, the type that is very mysterious and ambiguous.

Heart attack? That’s not murder. Yeah but...People dropping dead at the same time isn’t really coincidence unless you **really** want it to be. Sochiro had been working on this case for quite some time- the murders had been focused in Japan until swiftly changing to the UK. They’ve neglected to give the killer a cool name. Sadly. Right now, people just call whoever it is doing this ‘the heartstopper’. Painfully unoriginal, really. The task force from England had requested the aid of the Japanese police due to having significantly more evidence than them. The killer didn’t discriminate, it seemed the murders were random and had no particular pattern- making it an enigma of a case and not very easy to solve. Whoever this was, was clearly no genius since they had evidence of a potential vendetta against people in the police as well as access to police information due to being able to eliminate undercover operatives in the police. Not completely random killings, then. They were now investigating English and Japanese police. No surprise there. It’s necessary.

So, considering that Sochiro knew that leaving would ruin things further- why not bring them along eh? Learning English and so on would be no problem at such a young age and being exposed to a different culture would benefit the children more than anything. That was the plan. Move. Only God knows for how long. Sachiko had learned English she was previously a translator for the police before becoming a housewife and Sochrio knew the language well enough to survive. Sachiko had loved the idea aside from the fact that her husband was going to hunt down a mass killer in the streets of england. It seemed dangerous but she had grown tired of life in Japan and being a housewife- the women missed her job and frankly even if she loved her children wholeheartedly at least living in the UK would bring some change, everything was too stagnant aside from Light’s rapidly developing psyche and Sayu growing up. The woman knew better than to wish for her children to grow up already, but life as just a mother was unfulfilling when she was a linguist with amazing qualifications from Toh-Oh. Let the women live a little bit. She wanted a career, it was a shame that her husband was a bit traditional at times. She had even considered being a teacher! That’s far less dangerous than working within the police- but that didn’t stop him from saying ‘No. The children need a mother.’.

In the summer month of august, they made the move. Sochiro was anxious, Sachiko was incredibly excited. Light, despite his young age was incredibly indifferent to the move- he had friends and so on..but part of him didn’t care much. Perhaps a self instilled sense of superiority due to his intelligence made it harder for him to connect with others...He saw it as an opportunity to grow. Maybe things might be less boring in another country. Perhaps he’ll find somebody similar to him, somebody to relate to. He didn’t have that. Sayu...was sad, leaving her friends would be painful. She loved them- they liked her stuffed toys and they would play with her…Moreover- they understood her, yet as long as her brother was there...Things didn’t seem so grim. Even if she had struggled to truly grasp the situation.

So, where were they? Winchester, England.

Home of Winchester Cathedral and the famous Winchester Christmas Market. Iconic.

_The bells are lovely at the cathedral, they sound on Wednesday, Sunday and on a few holidays. It’s a nice place I suppose...It’s England. Not really grand unless you live somewhere prolific. I love Oxford though. It's lovely..if not a bit cramped, so is London. I guess the south of England is just..cramped. I suppose. I like that though. The cluster that is a city or a small town. It’s fun to explore. Also, I’m not going to mull over the moving process- both you and I know that is an utter waste of time as well as bloody boring! So, I swear this is going to get good, bare with me here. I told you it might be boring at times, unless you don’t think so...then...thanks even if I can’t tell._

Ryuk had been watching Light grow, slightly bored and not doing much other than stealing apples from the kitchen. He was beginning to think this was a mistake until the news. He hadn’t gone to England before, why not stick around for a bit longer?

The Shinigami had been watching the news whenever it was on...Clearly somebody had a note. It wasn’t his business though, he laughed it off and wondered who it could be? Somebody with the same or a different plan? Who knows? He doesn’t care enough to find out.

Arriving in England with the four- they were close to the cathedral. Sochiro would have to make the commute to the Task Force Headquarters, not that he cared- he had to make the commute in Japan too. It wasn’t like they were alone with the move either, plenty of the others on the case had made the same decision. Their house was quaint, but well sized for 4 with 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. Not bad...They didn’t even live in one of those houses that were stacked next to each other. That seems so common in England- all the buildings are squashed right next to each other. They didn’t have that though...everything was spread out just a few metres away from each other and separated by a flimsy wooden fence which is definitely going collapse the moment some strong winds come huffing.

However, once they settled...Things seemed fine. The adjustment period and language barrier were obviously going to affect the Yagami residence, but that was to be expected. Light was already getting a grip on the language...Sayu was not so lucky, school would fix that.

In fact, the move had done something Ryuk wasn’t expecting- it also made his life much easier. Soichiro Yagami’s lifespan was shorter, significantly shorter and it had been the moment they set foot on foreign soil.


	2. Life goes on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really went crazy with dis chapter.

_Nice old cliffhanger, eh?_

_Let’s get on with it then._

Two months.

They’ve been in England for two months, Sayu and Light have been enrolled in a Primary School nearby, Sachiko is enjoying herself and Sochiro is...working. As usual.

Light likes it in England, he finds the language challenging but that meant he was having a good time. The boy thoroughly enjoyed learning new sentence structures and ways of saying things...in fact he much preferred it to Japanese. Everything felt so much more demanding and straight forward. Light, at the beginning could read the language and just barely speak it. However, by being suddenly thrown into this new country and way of living- the rest of the family were in a culture shock...yet Light grew to enjoy every moment of his learning experience. Still, he was so young and yet so quickly getting a hand on the language- his accent was even beginning to go away when he spoke english. Yet, at home there was a strict- Japanese only policy which Light and Sachiko didn’t agree with because Sayu needed to be speaking at home too if she genuinely wanted to speak fluently. The same goes for Sochiro.

If they’re living here, they should know the language. 

So.

The murders.

The ‘heartstopper’.

_I’ll never get over how lame that name is, honestly. Disgraceful._

They haven’t stopped and things seem as if they are becoming overly dangerous and risky. Honestly, it’s as if the murderer wanted this transition to happen because more people are dropping dead than they can keep up with and there is still a lack of leads. Wonderful. You can’t ask for much better from a case like this. Must be thrilling- Sochiro is greying every so swiftly and he’s at home less than he used to be. Very helpful for the family dynamic. Considering that, Light and Sachiko have become increasingly close by their love of the English language- they would watch films and converse in English together- even joining forces in order to teach Sayu. Which was working- proving further that the Sochiro rule was useless to them if they wanted to to live in a country like this. 

Soon, the three of them would begin to practise together for at least 2 hours a day while still ensuring that their Japanese wasn’t rusty so that they could return home and understand what was going on. Being bilingual is a skill, Sachiko was living proof of that and how useful it was. Even if she would have moments of doubt in her ability- she realised there wasn’t space for that. She had two children to teach and raise. This means english homework and consuming english media all the time. Light wouldn’t struggle, but Sayu would, she’s young so teaching her wasn’t going to be a breeze. Thank God for Light’s support, with the three of them together things felt easy even if she did miss her husband and was worrying so much her hair was beginning to fall out whenever she was in the shower..

Knowing that your husband was a potential victim of somebody giving out mass heart attacks is cause for concern.

One day, while walking to the primary school to pick up Light and Sayu… The air felt tense. Everything felt slow today...like the seconds were inching past her. Like she could feel the air bearing down on her body as she moved past it- like it was wafting past her at a terrifyingly slow speed. Something was wrong. Sachiko could trust her instincts. She knew that much- her gut feeling was always reliable. This caused the woman to grind her teeth and wonder what it could possibly be. Walking cautiously, her footsteps followed behind her diligently with a soft clap of her heel against the uneven pavement.

What is wrong here?

Sachiko then proceeded with the normal routine, picking up Light and Sayu. Walk home, prepare dinner. Talk in english with the kids, help with homework and practise comprehension, turn on the TV. Wait for dinner to cook, then the three of them eat together. Very rarely does Sochiro come home. If she sees him, it’s when he’s crawling into bed with her or when he has any sort of time off. Which after two months, seems to be quite the rarity. It seems that their relationship is turning into nothing. Like dust- seeping through her hands and she can do nothing about it except watch. Gathered in the dining room, they sat around a pale, sickly white table. It’s rectangular and the sides stick out really obnoxiously. The wood grains are a thick grey in comparison to the pale paint- making it seem uneven and unbalanced even if all four of its feet are on the floor, perfectly stable.

In front of each person is a plate of...fish and chips.

It’s a friday, so the family chooses to indulge in english cuisine- such as this

“How was school today?”

Sachiko muses as her fork breaks past the layer of batter which encrusted the cod.

“It was good! We’re reading a book called The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe!” Light spoke in response, cheerfully as he did the same as his mother- though a significantly smaller portion is on his plate. Light is in year 6, the final year of primary education and despite that it seems that his quick adjustment to life in england is more than baffling considering only two months ago he could barely manage a full sentence without writing it first.

Sayu is quiet, she picks at her food- prodding it with the blunt end of the fork for no real reason other than...God knows what.

“It was okay…” The young girl murmured as her hair seemed to envelop her face- hiding it from her elders.

“Is something wrong, Sayu? You shouldn’t play with your food like that.” Sachiko stated, her tone of voice authoritative as well as soft. The tone often used to motivate the girl… Sometimes it seemed like Sayu was lost to the world at home and that she was only truly available around other people her age.

“Ugh...Fine. I’m okay…” She huffed out in response, flipping her fork around and slowly beginning to dig in. Sayu already felt like a teenager...were kids always this moody at this age? They can’t be.

Light wasn’t like that...To be honest though his head was always buried in books or something academic of the sort. Perhaps all of his angst will come out in a later stage of life. Secondary School is going to be a riot if that’s the case. He’s always been particularly cheerful.

_Personally, I hate kids. They’re annoying. Thank God I only have to write this for a bit longer._

That uneasy feeling hadn’t left Sachiko, as she ate- she felt ill. Like something was going to come up her throat- but it wasn’t going to. She didn’t know what it was...nor did she want to know either. Her gut was telling her to prepare for bad news. The air was bearing down on her again, the heavy weight now plastering her to the chair as she ate- her hands moving rigidly as her mind was preoccupied for a moment. A shrill ring is heard from the landing. It’s the landline...who calls the bloody landline? 

Light pushes himself away from the table- ready to go and get it.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll get it, thank you Light. Sit down and finish your food- make sure Sayu is eating too!” She smiles, forcing herself to fight against the cinder block weighing her down from the shoulders below. Walking to the landing, she closes the kitchen door slightly- only an inch gap so she could hear and commotion that could possibly come from the siblings which wasn’t common since Light wasn’t very easy to agitate or mean to Sayu.

The shrill continues as Sachiko reaches for the phone. Ryuk stood over her, hunched- cackling to himself as he waited for the news. He was smiling as large as ever, maybe even more so than usual.

_Oh, this is the ‘character building’ by the way._

“Heello- Yagami residence, how can I help you?”

“Mrs Yagami. We regret to inform you that your husband has died of a heart attack while at work today.”

  
  


_Mmm, paternal death. Nothing quite like daddy issues. It can really make or break a person._

_I bet you’re wondering what the reaction is?_

_It’s sad. Grieving is always sad, there's no way around it. How many stages are there…? 5. 5 stages of grief._

_My favourite was always rage. Being angry...there is nothing quite as visceral. It's relieving. I think you feel the most alive when you're angry- whether you're seething from beneath a mask of false joy or if you're screaming at somebody's face. Even better when you employ violence._ _But yes. Sochiro is dead. Do you really want a funeral scene? Nothing happens._ _It's just...Light, Sayu and Sachiko as well as a few of his work friends such as the young and ever moronic Touta Matsuda. It seemed as if he was going to become the support after this…_

_It's miserable._

_Light doesn't cry, Sayu does, so does Sachiko._ _Light seemed changed by the news though._ _Sayu was just sad her dad died._

_Sachiko is distressed but considering their deterioration, relationship wise. It seems fair that things aren't that different._ _It really hasn't changed. Life moves on, it's just the people who change because of grief. Sachiko gets a job to support the family- even if they still had plenty to survive. She's a teacher at the local college now._ _Light and Sayu are now growing up in the UK, fatherless._

_Light's role in the home is different- he feels much more responsible for the women in the house- looking after Sayu, helping around the house more._

_So…_

_I'll actually do a brief rundown on what happens so we can get to the good stuff._

_Light, becomes the man of the house as well as further growing a persona to hold back his ever growing narcissism. Sad that, being a prodigy and held back by the British education system. He get's through it though._ _Sayu, is essentially raised by Light considering their mum is at work, learns English flawlessly due to Light and Sachiko. She seems to be becoming quite a character. She's close to her mother and brother- very pretty too_ _Sachiko, she finds that her life is more satisfying now that she works. Light is her main life support- even with the aid of Matsuda. She grieves. She's not ready to move on or find anybody new- even if they weren't very close in the end that doesn't change the fact that Sochiro was the father of her children and the man she married._

_Oh yes, Light and his mother don't have a healthy relationship. He's her best friend, sadly. He knows everything he shouldn't- work stress, love life and struggles with said love life. She has a habit of over sharing just because Light is such a good listener as well as amazing with advice._ _She feels like she doesn't deserve him._ _She loves Sayu, but she's still a bit immature and she doesn't open up to her as much. Regardless, the three are very close. That's not a surprise._

_So, where are we again?_

_Well. Light is now the ripe age of 17, Sayu is 14 and it's rude to reveal a woman's age without her consent so I'll leave it there. Hopefully, things will be more interesting. I’ll talk about grieving later- this family was just...sad. Then they moved on. It’s not like they were close to begin with._

Light was sitting in his room, studying. He had A-Levels to be prepared for.

He was studying Law, Criminology and Philosophy.

Light wanted to be a detective. In fact- he had already given several tip offs to the police when it came to certain cases. Uncle Matsuda would often come and talk to Light about cases- purely because he had the same look in his eyes as his father when they talked about justice and crime, with that alone he could figure out several more Light's eyes shone dimly when he began to talk about crime, justice and how to solve a case. He wanted to be like his father, he wanted to be better than his father. Part of him idolised his father for dying for such a cause.

The 'heartstopper' had vanished off of the face of the earth. They had totally stopped being active when Light turned 12. However...he had an intrigue with the case. He was solving the case on his own at this point in order to finish his father's work. Even if it was going nowhere- the young man felt obligated to do it. Light had started this when he was 14. It's safe to assume that they're dead. That didn't stop Light from wanting to find out what caused the deaths- There is no way that there isn’t an explanation for this. There has to be. Light wanted to know what had killed his father and how. Perhaps it was a morbid fascination, but that didn’t stop him from thinking that he was the only one who could figure it out.

Ryuk found it amusing. At some points he just wanted to drop the Death Note right in front of the boy and be done with it. Yet it never felt right to do so, not yet.

So, what was Light’s view on justice?

The young man believed that the world was filled to the brim with bad people, tha ration wasn’t fair. For any good person, there had to be 100 bad people. He hated that- and it was so well revealed to him through his time in secondary school. Light, from the moment he set foot in his school had become the heartthrob of his year. Not very surprising, he was quite the looker- chestnut coloured hair, pretty, soft brown eyes and a pleasant face shape that wasn’t too narrow or wide. To be fair...there wasn’t anything remarkable or unique about him look wise- but you couldn’t deny that all of those features made him very, very handsome. Girls loved him. So did boys, but frankly- most of the teen boys are afraid to come out due to the many teenage bigots that just love to call any effeminate boy some slurs. It didn’t help that he was incredibly charming and talkative- oh yes and the most intelligent boy in their school to date. He finished his GCSE’s with all 9’s in the new grading system- which is the equivalent to above an A. This included doing an extra GCSE in Japanese as well as French. He was brilliant in both. He had inherited his love of language from his mother, clearly.

Teachers loved him, so did the students. He became headboy in year 11 and made several mass reforms to combat most of the problems in the school. Uniform violations, the cafeteria, school functions- these were all things that school couldn’t manage and yet Light managed to bring these through just via his charisma and management skills. He was also athletic, won several tennis tournaments through the school before stopping in Year 10 in order to focus on his GCSE’s.

His teachers were going to encourage him to go into politics, they believed he could actually do a lot of good for the country, however- he had always been set on being a detective. Now, he was studying his courses through the University of Winchester- for the sake of convenience. He hadn’t wanted to go to Peter Symonds and found that the University wanted him anyways- so he took his courses for his A Levels there as a special case. Even so, he was learning at a rate beyond that of a university student and could easily go into the training process if he wanted to and pass with flying colours, but right now it seemed so tedious since he was so young- even if he already had helped solve several cases. Not that the police will admit that a 17 year old is a more competent detective than their own adult staff.

To be honest, Light probably wouldn’t even need to study to pass any exam given to him.

Oh yeah. Justice.

Well, his justice is simple. The evil needs to be punished, and righteous and innocent must be protected.

In retrospect, this is an overly simple view for a philosophy student considering you should really consider environment and cause. Seeing somebody just for their action isn’t right. That’s what he would argue in class, because it’s a pretty fair view...yet in reality he scorned any evil act. It’s childish, isn’t it? Light doesn’t really care much for differing opinions, he’s fantastic in a debate and hasn’t even lost to anybody before because his arguments are factual or disagreeing with him makes you sound like an idiot. Even with a subjective debate- his charm and proficiency with his words would cut straight through what you were saying and that was that.

Light was the victor, he always won.

You could label him an overachiever, but it wasn’t like he was trying. Once he found that language wasn’t fun to learn anymore, because it wasn’t difficult- competition became his best friend. Even if he did win flawlessly every time he was opposed. He was witty, but under such a beautiful smile and soft tone he could spit venom and make you regret going up against him. Moreover, he was a graceful victor- always respectful even if his words previously destroyed you, you couldn’t hate him for it because in the end he was right and at least he was nice about it. That being said, he wished he could find somebody on the same intellectual level as him. It was the reason he was often so quiet- he didn’t have anything to say to somebody beneath him. 

People loved him though, he listened and gave advice that was worth listening to because he knew how to rationlise stupid, idiotic problems that others couldn’t. He knew exactly how somebody was feeling and how to fix it- girls really love that. Not that he had ever paid any attention to any romantic feelings projected on him, he thought that whoever it was that deserved his affections was going to be somebody who could keep up with him intellectually. 

In short. Light is a very good actor. Everybody loves him and he...doesn’t mind everybody else- he finds them boring. There was a knock from behind him, turning to face the door. He leaned against the back of his seat, slouching.

“Come in.”

The door creaks open- it’s Sayu. 

Walking in, she closes the door behind her.

“Liigghht?”

He sighs as he rubs the side of his face briefly. What now?

“Yes, Sayu?”

“Can you help me with this science homework?”

Light wants to roll his eyes straight into the back of his head, he should have expected this.

“What is it?”

“Quantitative Chemistry.”

“Come here, then.”

He sighs and stands from his seat, gesturing for Sayu to sit down. She does just that and Light pushes the chair to the desk, Sayu laughing softly as he did so- one arm clutching her exercise book and the other at the bottom of the chair.

“Let’s have a look.”

Sayu spread the book out on his desk. He hadn’t visited GCSE chemistry in quite some time…

Light was an ideal brother to Sayu, he wasn’t really that mean, he only teased and never made much effort to get a reaction out of her because he really didn’t find Sayu's reactions that entertaining. He could find something more entertaining from a book. 

Obviously, Sayu moved past toys- she liked musicals and theatre. She wasn’t a bad actor either- perhaps it was something that they had inherited from their parents.

Acting, lying. 

She was popular too, part of it because she’s Light’s little sister and the other part being that she’s very, very nice. She doesn’t have anything bad to say until she comes home. To say that Sachiko and Sayu gossip would be an understatement.

You could call Sayu two-faced, Light would just say that she says things how she sees it- just only around her family. Light worked through her struggles, as he did so- explaining everything simply and eloquently.

“You’re so good at this!”

Sayu exclaimed, smiling up at Light as he towered over her, the girl scribbling in her answers as she clumsily used Light’s calculator.

“I guess.”

The elder hummed in response, being particularly humble as usual. Deep down he knew he couldn’t be himself around anybody. He’s really quite rude and dislikes most people- he’s just so good at making you think he’s the perfect man. Suppose you could say Light is filled with shit.

  
  


_No family is perfect. You can act like it though._

The hour passed quickly as he aided his sister in her overly simple science homework.

“All done, now get out-”

Light laughed as he pulled the seat from under the desk and spun it around to face the door- rushing her to leave him alone. She gets annoying after long enough.

“Oh! Wait!

“What is it now…?”

“You know Wammy’s?”

Wammy’s house was an orphanage not far from the cathedral. It had a totally different atmosphere in comparison to the rest of Winchester. It felt far more gloomy- you could call it gothic. Light had a fascination with the place, strange kids were there. Rumors that there was some genius around Light’s age. Light wanted to see if that was true. He doubted it...but he wanted to know. You can blame him for being curious. Maybe, just maybe somebody who isn’t a total moron does exist?

“Yes...What about it?”

“That rumor- yeah? The smart one- apparently he’s going to attend Winchester Uni a bit to see if he likes it.”

Light furrowed his eyebrows, really? Interesting- then he came to the realisation that he was going to end up meeting him. It’s inevitable if this is true, they’ll want to be responsible for having two geniuses at their University. It’s going to make them look really, really good.

Classic. It’s always about coverage in the end, isn’t it?

“Where did you hear about this?”

“A kid in drama from outside of school has a friend from there, he’s like...their pride and joy- so it must be a big deal!”

“Hm. I guess I’ll finally see this mystery man…”

“Yeah, but I doubt he’s smarter than you.”  
“Don’t make assumptions- anybody could be smarter than me.”

Ha! Smarter than Light? Sure, they can fucking dream.

“Sureee, like I know anybody can get all 9s without even trying.”

“I tried!”

“Light, you studied two hours a night and then read or did your little detective thing. Others study every moment they have or they fail- it’s either that or they don’t even scratch a 6.”

She said, frowning at the other.

Ah, right. In comparison to Light, Sayu was lacking in the same academic skills he possessed.

“I can’t help it- now scoot, go do your thing. Sing obnoxiously loud if you have to.”

Sayu groaned in response before finally exiting the room, dragging her feet behind her. Mood swings.

That’s what both Sachiko and Light blamed it on.

Sachiko had arrived home only moments after Sayu had left Light’s room and slammed her own door closed. He didn’t know if what he said had annoyed his little sister or if she truly was just moody, it could have been an accident but he really doubted it.

She had gone food shopping- Light had offered to come but she had refused his help.

Light exited his room and walked down the stairs.

“Hey mum, was it busy today?”

He said from the top of the stairs, as his mother closed the door behind her with a loud, wooden clap as the door snapped into the frame behind her.

“It was fine. Not bad.”

Oh. Short response, something’s wrong.

“What’s up?”

Light asked as he picked up two of the four plastic bags on the floor, opening the door to the kitchen which resided opposite to the staircase and next to the main entrance. The landing was narrow and long- this often meant the three of them would have to enter in a small line while waiting for the person in front to take their shoes off and file further down the hallway or go upstairs as soon as they arrived at home- Sayu was guilty of that the most.

“I saw Matsuda in the car park, he brought up your father.”

She said, following behind Light.

Ouch. That ought to sting.

“What did he say?”

The subject doesn’t really affect Light, he didn’t know his father very well, he was rarely home even when they were still living in Japan. Sachiko was the only one who knew his father.

“Something about today being the day the three of us hungout after work together for the first time...Now I can’t stop thinking about it. Why would he even remember something like that, Light?”

Light paused for a moment as he put the bags down on the same kitchen table that’s been there for years now. White- looks uneven, cheap.

“The three of you were close, right? He wasn’t trying to upset you.”

Does this woman realise that she relies on the advice of her own 17 year old son?

“I know...but it still hurts. I don’t like thinking about him...He was the love of my life.”

“The first step would be to stop talking about this if it hurts so much...Also- we’ve discussed seeing a professional and you still won’t. You even admitted that before he died things felt really empty and loveless.”

Light stated, recalling the conversation they had when he was 15.

Light was definitely mature for his age, his mother said he was wise. He didn’t understand why...Yet Sachiko didn’t have many friends. She doesn’t like people very much even if she is a social butterfly- similar to Light. So, Light has always shouldered her problems.

“Light...I still love him.”

“Of course you do, mum. I don’t doubt that you do- but maybe you need to move on and put yourself out there?”

Sachiko looked a bit shocked at that response.

“Move on? How would you and Sayu feel about that?”

Light shrugged.

“I wouldn’t know until it happens. It would be nice not to be the only man in the house...but I think you just. Need somebody to love that isn’t your job or family.”

Pulling the fresh fruit and vegetables out of the bag, which rustled dreadfully as he did so.

“But I don’t like anybody.”

“That’s why you need to put yourself out there mum- make an effort.”

“Doesn’t it upset you?”

The mother questioned, she looked a bit lost. She doesn’t really know what Light thinks- she realises. He doesn’t open up about his feelings much. Sayu does- but Light felt distant at times. He has done since their father was killed.

“I admired dad. He was a really hard worker. But I didn’t know him. Sayu didn’t either mum.”

The young man stated bluntly, that wasn’t anybody’s fault, but seeing his mother move on would probably be better for them.

“If you meet a good man...It might help Sayu. I’m the only male family she has other than uncle Matsuda. It’s not too late.”

Light began to put things in the fridge as he spoke,it seemed as if Sachiko really was surprised by this answer. She nearly always was. He seemed to say things that she hadn’t thought about before and she always wondered where his advice came from- you can be smart..but smart and good with people? That isn’t a common mix. She was so lucky to have such a good son- he was dependable and a lot like his father in many ways… Sachiko didn’t feel like she had anybody else.

“I see…”

_There are supposed to be boundaries. You know? An adult shouldn’t be placing all of their hardships on their child. Anybody on the outside looking in can tell you that._ _I can’t tell if this woman is traumatised or just really awful with over sharing...It could be both? Who knows at this point?_

_Moving on swiftly- who’s this mystery man?_

Light woke up at 6 o’clock like he did every morning, he liked structure. It kept him doing things- it was helpful in avoiding boredom, but if it got monotonous he would change it. Simple as that. To be honest, he hoped that the rumor was true. At the same time, to say he was intimidated was an overstatement. Nobody is better than him- they can try and convince themselves that they are but that just isn’t even the case. If you can keep up with Light in an intellectual conversation- consider yourself lucky. He’s either slowing down for you or you’re actually keeping up with him.

He has never experienced the latter. Getting dressed for school, Light had quite a formal sense of style, he liked wearing blazers with a nice pair of trousers or shoes. They suited him. He looked gorgeous in his school uniform. It was a navy colour- all blue. Not that he liked blue very much- but he definitely looked good in blue. He had a sense of style you could label as ‘academic’ but it wasn’t like that was all he wore. Today, he actually decided to go with a simple button up shirt- in black, the top few buttons left undone with a dark grey crew neck underneath tucked into a pair of jeans. He wasn’t sure about shoes. Whatever he chose would be tasteful, anyways. It was casual, but it still made a statement. ‘I look after myself.’

Which you would hope most men would be able to show...yet they can’t.

Monday’s meant that a lot of people would be on campus- you’d be surprised by how much the upperclassmen liked him. It wasn’t uncommon for him to have friends older than himself but that didn’t change the fact half of them weren’t very smart. Part of him wished he or had chosen to go somewhere different for his courses. Like Oxford- they would bloody love him there- they would. Yet they wouldn’t let him in without his A-levels. That’s a shame considering he could easily do a degree now. He had just chosen the slow road- speeding through life would mean regret. He didn’t have time for that. Why be regretful? He’ll end up becoming the best detective in the world without even trying, there’s no rush here. Going through the motions, he prepared breakfast for Sayu. Sachiko was already at work. All he did was drink some tea and eat some toast, leaving Sayu’s food on the table. She walked to school and started at 9:00. She was always up at 7:00 though so she could get ready.

By 8:00 Light is out the door and off to his classes.

He had received a text from the Uni to meet at the office. Ah, so the rumors are true. 

Light often took the bus and would read for a half an hour trip. He was currently reading Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky. It was an interesting book and he often found himself enjoying literature from Eastern Europe. Not that he had read very much but he knew that with time he may find himself actively seeking out books of that sort in the future. Arriving on the campus, he made his way to the main building. The campus was split between architecture of an older time and the sort that is modern, sleek and minimal. Part of him preferred the older, archaic buildings. They felt more complicated, he liked the lack of simplicity in their design.

Arriving in the office- he saw...the woman who was usually at the desk. She was blonde, blue eyes with a long face, her eyes seemed to peer at you intensely and make you really uncomfortable as her thin lips curved into that awkward smile you only really give somebody when you’re the two people walking past each other on the pavement.

“Mr Yagami?”

She said quietly, her voice had a scratchy quality to it like she had just kicked by straight vodka.

“That’s me.”

Light smiled in response, his voice had an airy quality to it that made him seem friendly and outgoing- tone of voice can change the entire meaning of what you’re saying. Any actor knows that.

From the door behind her desk, Professor Namikawa- the teacher of Light’s Philosophy class entered.

He gestured to the sofa where Light found-

Oh.

That’s...peculiar.

There was a figure hunching over- sat on the sofa, knees up, bare feet on the faux leather. It was enough to make Light nearly double over and physically cringe- he resisted this feeling though. The figure possessed pale skin, very empty, wide, black eyes that bore into you with strange intent and thin lips that seemed very unexpressive. Like he barely spoke at all despite their clear, chapped appearance.

Namikawa began to speak as he slid his hands into the front pockets of his light brown blazer, his voice was smooth, however his words felt rigid and hard.

“Light- you should be happy to know that you’re no longer a lone intellectual”

He started, laughing, gazing at Light and then back at the pale hunchback on the sofa.

“This is Ryuzaki, he will be joining you on your courses. He’s at the same level- 100 percent across every exam he’s ever done. Same age and everything. He’s trying out Uni life.”

This guy...Light’s equal? Sure. If that’s what they want to believe. Although...It would be wrong to underestimate him so soon.

“Wow...That’s a relief. It’s really lovely to meet you Ryuzaki, I’m Light Yagami...I suppose I’ll be showing you around.”

Light said warmly as he looked at the other, a gentle smile on his lips as he looked at him. Ryuzaki slowly came off of the sofa, slipping his previously bare feet into a pair of white, old trainers.

“Yes. It’s very nice to meet you Light. I look forward to our time together.”

How formal…

This felt familiar. Why? Why did he feel this way? Something about Ryuzaki had caused a moment of Deja Vu. Both of them had felt it.

“The two of you should become well acquainted- It’s rare to have two smart people in the same place at the same time. The lecture starts in an hour- feel free to get to know each other before then.”

Namikawa stated, smiling at the two of them. He’s just dumping the damn creature on Light- sometimes he hates being so nice to others- they begin to expect things of him.

_Love myself a good weirdo. Especially a smart one, they’re funny. They can also be very dangerous. This one is cool._ _Also, familiarity- again! Wow, it’s almost like my stupid question was genuinely worth asking. Isn’t that mad?_ _Past lives I tell you! I mean it._

_Everybody in this story is linked somehow- God knows why. I don’t. It’s just weird though. Isn’t it? I bet you’re wondering what’s up with these two...I’ll keep going then._

Light had found himself showing Ryuzaki around, they made small talk- yet there was undeniable tension. Sooner rather than later, they arrived at the cafeteria. They found each other sitting in a booth, across from each other. Ryuzaki had reverted to the sitting position from before. It is slightly off putting- but Light found himself adjusting to it rather quickly.

“Yagami...What is it you want to do? You’re clearly above this level of learning.”

“Well. I’d like to be a detective...though I guess you’re right. I’m taking it slow, I’m not in a rush...I don’t want my teen years to be wasted on work.”

Light voiced as he leaned back in his seat.

“A detective?”

“Yes.”

“I’m already a detective.”

“You are?”

“I am.”

“That’s impressive. I’ve already helped solve a few cases...I do investigations in my own time.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“That’s why I’m here. I heard about you. I have done for years now.”

“My reputation precedes me, then.”

Light didn’t know what to think of this, but it was true. L had been hearing of Light for years due to cooperation with the police as well as the fact that he was probably the most popular teenager in Winchester due to his looks and abilities.

“I think you should become a detective now.”

L says suddenly, placing his thumb up against his lip as he gazed at the man in front of him. He’s hiding something. Clearly.

“Why is that?”

“I don’t like losing.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I don’t want you to beat me for spot number one.”

Light furrowed his eyebrows at this response, visibly confused. The best detective in the world was L, he had been following his cases for the past year and already knew how his deductive ability worked and so on- He wasn’t a fan. Merely looking at future competition.

“You think I’m capable of that?”  
“You could be. That’s what I want to find out.”

“So you’re making this a competition?”

“No. I would like to be your friend. I also want to see if you’re as capable as everybody says you are.”

Friend? Light hadn’t considered that at all..but if they were going to be classmates, it only made sense. However, he was suspicious of Ryuzaki. Something didn’t sit right- like he wasn’t supposed to like him. That gut feeling- in which he had inherited from his mother. Instinct. Hah...Funny that.

L's voice was monotnous and boring to listen to unless he added some sort of deviation in the way he said things- to be honest the thing's he said were interesting though. To Light's relief.

“This feels more like an interrogation than an invitation of friendship.”

“Yaga-”

“Just call me Light, I insist.”

“Light, then. You are the only person in this place who may be capable of keeping up with me. I think we will be good company for each other if you live up to my expectations.”

His expectations? Light laughs in response. Smiling at the other.

“Is that so? I admire how forward you are...then yes. We should be friends.”

Ryuk hung above them, watching intently. Wow, the two of them felt like they were supposed to have this moment. It’s the exact same feeling he got when Light was finally born. Perhaps dropping the Death Note now wouldn’t be so bad…Things are getting interesting.

Light and Ryuzaki have become friends, it seems. How nice. 

_Oh yeah...friendship!_

_Love that- I mean. These two are strange- we don’t know enough about Ryuzaki yet. But that’ll come with time. Light seems interesting now. I won’t tell you if he gets better or worse though._ _So, they did the whole school thing- they barely talked in class. They gave each other knowing glances and showed off their above average brains to make a point to each other- you could call it showing off, those smart asses would call it proving themselves._

With time, they ended up growing to enjoy each other's company- that being over the week that they knew each other.

“Ryuzaki?”

“Yes, Light.”

“I was wondering if you would come over to hang out- my sister is with friends and my mother is visiting family friends. I have the house to myself for the night. Take it as an opportunity to get to know each other better.”

“I don’t see why not...I’ve not done this before. I suppose it could be a worthwhile experience.”

Ryuzaki took this as an opportunity to analyse Light further. He found him to be difficult to understand. He was curious. 

This is still an interrogation.

  
  



	3. where is the justice?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the positive- as well as motivating words. Seriously, it's been making me want to keep at it instead of falling off of the wagon. I hope you enjoy this chapter. The story is just getting started.  
> This is also very, very dialogue heavy. Sorry.

That afternoon, Light had found himself with Ryuzaki following him home with...nothing on him. Ryuzaki claimed that ‘Watari’,whoever that was...presumably the teen’s guardian would drop things off later. Light would have preferred time to prepare...but Ryuzaki had made that impossible via innocent ignorance or just because he was impatient. Light couldn’t tell which it was. Ryuzaki was definitely receiving strange looks as he sat on the seats of the bus with many of the other students from the university. Light acted as if he could hardly notice and continued to hold conversation with the other- purely because he had claimed that sitting like Light or any other normal person would lower his brain functionality and he just can’t do that to himself. Once they had gotten off the bus, Light and Ryuzaki walked down a narrow pavement to the Yagami household.

“We live closer to each other than I first thought…”

The detective spoke aloud as he followed behind his host.

“Yeah...I’m not far away from the Cathedral.”

“Have you been there before?”

“The cathedral? Of course, I’ve lived here for years now.”

“No. Wammy’s House. I haven’t gone to the Cathedral though.”

Ryuzaki remarked, looking to Light as he walked at a sedated pace.

“I haven’t...They don’t really let any random stranger into an orphanage. and...You really haven’t? We should go on Sunday. I’m not religious, but the bells are nice.”

“Hm...perhaps we should.”

Ryuzaki pondered for a moment.

“Have you thought about visiting Wammy’s House?”

Switching the subject again.

“Yes, only because of the rumors about you. I didn’t think anybody like me- let alone a similar age actually existed. Especially so locally.”

Light professed, turning left and up into the road in which the Yagami residence belonged to. Putting a hand into his long, grey jacket’s front pocket- he pulled out a single house key.

“So it was a mutual fascination, then?”

“Yes. It was.”

Light chuckled as they walked up the drive- no car. Sachiko is already away then. Sayu might not have left yet though- but he doubted that. He had texted her and told her to clear out as soon as possible once he had received the okay from Ryuzaki. Opening the door, he hummed a small “Hello..?” Into the house. No response. Perfect. Holding the door open for Ryuzaki- he ushered him into the house before locking the door behind the two of them. Taking off his shoes and putting his jacket away on the banister of the stairs.

“Tea?”

“Yes. Thank you, Light.”

Ryuzaki replied- taking off his own shoes and placing them next to Light’s.

Light walked into the kitchen and turned on the kettle.

“Earl grey or green?”

“Earl grey.”  
“White sugar, brown sugar or honey?”

“White sugar- why do you have so many options?”  
“My mum is quite specific about what she likes with her tea...I’m similar.”

Light laughed as he opened the cupboard- L walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the table.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in a family home.”

“Is that so? I’m glad to be your first, then. Milk?”

“So am I- no thank you.”

Light pulled out two mugs, both plain white. His mother didn’t like colourful kitchenware- it was very plain. Light didn’t mind it though- he found colourful kitchenware obnoxious, must his mug be bright yellow? No, of course not. Placing two different tea bags into each mug- Light was preparing himself a green tea with two spoonfuls of honey. That was the same way Sachiko made her tea- it’s nice. Honey is a healthier alternative than sugar but Sayu doesn’t like it- no idea why. She said it ruined the tea...Light doubted that and thought she was being picky for the sake of it.

“How many sugars?”

“Ten.”

“Right...Wait. Ten?”

“Yes, ten.”

“Are you pulling my leg? I know you like sweets- but ten? Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“I’ll just bring the sugar bowl over to you…”

Light sighed as the kettle finished boiling- pouring water into both mugs, he stirred his own, added the honey before leaving it to sit in order to brew for a moment. He brought Ryuzaki’s mug over to him, the tea bag still in the mug as he held the sugar bowl in his other hand. Placing them in front of his oddly sat friend. The young prodigy grabbed his own mug and carried it over, taking a seat next to Ryuzaki. He slowly began to sip on his scalding hot tea- weirdly enough, very good heat tolerance, he doesn’t mind the feeling though. He prefers tea when it’s as hot as possible.

However as Light did this- he really saw Ryuzaki put 10 spoonfuls of sugar into his tea…

“You realize people call sugar, poison for a reason- right?”

“I do.”

The dark haired man responded, clearly caring very little about Light’s comment.

“But sugar keeps my brain at its best.”

“You certainly need a lot to make sure your brain is working.”

“You don’t?”

“I don’t.”

Light definitely felt a sense of superiority for that fact alone- he didn’t need to sit in a peculiar way or eat sugar to ensure his intellectual prowess was at its finest. To be fair- he didn’t need a lot of things to remain at his best, Light didn’t require sleep to function and at least he had to drink water and consume at the same rate anybody did, even then sometimes food seemed passable at times. Sleep was an option- but he liked sleep, it made time passing by slowly much more bearable.

Water and motivation was enough to keep him going, Light had an intense will and sadly not having nothing to do meant that this very admirable quality he had was being wasted. He needed a cause, something that wasn’t going to bore him out of his mind- for now that would be figuring out Ryuzaki and what was so strange about him and the feeling that had pooled in his stomach, like malice was trying to claw its way out of his intestines and into his mouth.

Well, Light was putting his motivation somewhere- but frankly it was being wasted. The ‘heartstopper’ _lame name, ugh._ Had stopped being active for years yet Light was still desperate to find the cause and bring it to justice. It began being less for his father and more of a perverse sense of morbid curiosity- how did they kill? How can it be used? Could it be used for good?

Mass execution wasn't so bad, it’s untraceable too. The perfect weapon. Whatever it is- however they did it.

“Why have you wasted your time with the education system, Light?”

Ryuzaki asked, breaking Light’s train of thought as he continued to drink the bittersweet liquid in his mug. 

Ryuzaki was now swallowing his own tea- had the sugar even dissolved yet? There’s no way it has.

“I didn’t have connections like you. I didn’t have much choice- regardless having real qualifications with top grades benefit you in future careers. I could easily do a degree, but I like picking up different paths of schooling. It can prove to be useful.”

Light stated, putting his mug down on the table.

“I see. You’ve already helped on several cases though- each being hard to crack. I don’t see why you haven’t made a career of it.”

“You’re only a teenager once, Ryuzaki.”

_Speaking of that- I’ve been thinking on why this is all happening. Reincarnation is a funny belief- you’re supposed to be reincarnated into something that reflects what you were like as a person in your previous life...Like if you’re a piece of shit you might be a bug or something. So, maybe...this is a different sort of thing. I don’t want to revisit the God theory because it makes my brain hurt. So, maybe an alternate timeline fits better? I can’t really decide. Feel free to make up your own mind. I’ll figure it out as we go._

“You think your youth is that important?”

“No, I just want to learn as much as I can before going into work. Adolescence is the perfect time to do that. Sooner rather than later- right?”

Ryuzaki gazed at the other- so Light values what he’s learning? He doesn’t seem like that, in class he managed to prove himself much more capable than he looked. On first thought, the man had made the assumption that Light was a pretty boy with a higher IQ than most people in Winchester- not the type that could match him...let alone rival him.

“Are you sure you’re not just saying that?”

He questioned as his eyes peered at Light. 

“I’m sure.”

They’re both liars- one is a method actor the other is simply very talented at it.

Light didn’t need to be taught anything- the youth could easily read a textbook and understand the subject with ease. He was doing it because becoming a detective immediately would be boring. ‘Ooo- Homicide.’ Nothing is going to be as interesting or as elusive as the Heartstopper case to Light. It’s all he wanted to figure out- he wouldn’t go as far as calling it an obsession but it was undeniably a fixation. Not many things can keep him interested, even if it has just been reduced to theories and wondering. Being a detective was fun, he could see why his father was so dedicated- although having children and still being that dedicated felt wrong to Light. He didn’t want kids anyways- especially if his life was going to be spent pursuing criminals or possibly going into some other career- whatever it was, it absolutely had to keep him busy at all times. Children are a chore anyways- he’s already had enough from Sayu as it is. He loved his family, but as he grew up it felt more and more like a task to look after them. Of course to them he was still the ever oh so perfect, smart older brother and son. Soon enough, the two finished their tea. Light washed the mugs- only to find that barely four of Ryuzaki’s teaspoons of tea hadn’t dissolved. What a waste. He laughed to himself with a sigh before drying the mugs and putting them away. Ryuzaki and Light could be in comfortable silence with each other- talking about nothing was pointless to them.

“To my room?”

Light asked, softly.

“Are you asking for something from me?”

“Very funny. No- I just meant that neither of us like TV very much unless it’s the news and I might show you something.”

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yo-”

“I’m laughing- really. Look at me Ryuzaki, I’m losing my shit.”

Light’s face was deadpan, no sign of his usual charming self. Not that he cared about the gay jokes- he just thought they were stupid. Surely, he could be more creative if he wanted to call Light queer.

“I was only joking-”

“Seriously, you are hilarious!”

“Piss off, Light.”

They gave each other a small, amused grin before Light cracked a chuckle. Leading the other up the stairs and into his room.

“So this is where Light Yagami spends his time?”

“That would be the case.”

“It’s very clean...and organised. You’ve got lots of books.”

“Weirdly enough, it’s almost like I know these things?”

Ryuzaki rolled his eyes at the response. Light was the type he could get along with- around others he was a lot less dry and sarcastic, however when it was only the two of them, it seemed he was more relaxed but with that came more attitude. Light was an optimist- essentially the complete opposite of Ryuzaki’s abject pessimism. It seemed to balance eachother out- yet. This had become an interrogation as soon as an uneasy sensation came over him the moment they first spoke. Ryuzaki, better known as L among many professional circles needed to know what it was- first of all, somebody in his own range of intelligence, who is practically perfect as well as an aspiring detective, obviously suspicious. Or at least that was the case to himself. This feeling of respect as well as...betrayal, haunted L. Even if the initial feeling was barely telligible anymore. L, at this point had only been active for 3 years but his work was practically worshipped. It was boring now. No cases have intrigued him- so in its place he now had somebody to call his friend as well as a...suspect- not that he knew for what.

L looked around the room, merely gazing at the many pieces of literature as well as notebooks on his shelves. Glancing at his friends desk, he walks over, his long, baggy jeans making him look like he shuffles from place to place rather than walk.

“Make yourself comfortable.”

Light commented as Ryuzaki meandered from the left side of his room to the desk. Ryuzaki picked a book laying on the wood, static, with his thumb and finger. Proceeding to hold it in his other hand and open it.

Before Light had realized- he was already reading it’s contents.

“I suppose you took that very literally-”

What Ryuzaki had gotten his hands on wasn’t necessarily private. Light just didn’t share it with anybody- not because he was embarrassed by it. It simply was his fascination with the case that took his father's life.

“What is this, Light? It’s very well researched and put together…”

“Half of it is theory. It’s hardly researchable.”

The prodigy thought he would care more for L looking through his things- but he had nothing to hide. Ryuzaki had probably done his own work on the case before. People have forgotten it and the media declared the deaths to be coincidence. Many just believe that the government was behind it. Light had done some digging and he was certain it was some lone entity. There was no other way about it.

“Why do you have so much on this case…?”

“It’s the reason I’m in England.”

“It is? But you’ve lived here for some time.”

Oh? Is it already time for Light’s tragic backstory? Not that you can get much more tragic than an orphan.

“I never told you, did I?”

Light let out a quiet huff, he hated talking about it. It felt pointless- his father’s death has barely affected him. He liked his family with just the three of them, having a father in the first place turned out to be pointless anyways- he was the man of the house and he had been since they moved to England if not before then too.

“Told me what?”

“My father, when the japanese task force was asked to locate here for the Heartstopper case. That’s why we moved here.”

L realised, Light had never mentioned his parents much, only his mother. Not his father.

“He was in charge of the case in Japan. We moved here, after two months he was killed.”

“Is this for vengeance, then?”

“I barely knew him. No, it’s curiosity. In the beginning it may have been- but he was barely in my life. I’m just interested as to how the killer did it.” 

No pity. Thank God. Light hated it when people took pity on him for something he didn’t give that much thought about. Ryuzaki could probably tell, he gazed back into the book and flipped through the pages.

“Lots of mythology and theology.”

“I told you, it’s only theory. Divine judgement isn’t real.”

“You’re right. But the case feels like something...supernatural, doesn’t it?”

Ryuzaki inquired. Light took a seat on his bed, placing his hands behind him as a means of support.

“Yeah...but whoever it was is dead or they’ve vanished off the face off the earth.”

“Indeed, although...it is quite an infamous cold case. I hope something like that never happens again.”

“Killing people is so morally depraved...especially in a way which is really quite cowardly.”

Light lied- he was so desperate to know how they did it...What causes somebody to do that? He knew that if he had that sort of power he would be using it to get rid of those making the world worse by the minute.

“That’s true. Murder is wrong regardless of the reason why…”

“If that were your true way of thinking...you don’t agree with the death penalty?”

Light asked.

“No. I do.”

“Why…? If taking a life is immoral...why would you let anybody control life and death?”

“Light, what are you implying?”

“I’m saying that corruption is everywhere- including the justice system. No human has the right to condemn each other to death. Not in the state the world is now, at least.”

“Are we going to talk Philosophy now?”

  
“Only if you want to. All I’m trying to say is that...I think we’re all very hypocritical. Human righteousness only exists in a few now. Maybe that’s part of the reason I’m not a detective yet...I don’t want to join a corrupt system. Perhaps I could change things- I’m certain I could but many wouldn’t like me for it. Not that I care. I suppose it’s just a matter of asking...Where is the justice?”   
Light asked as he looked up to his ceiling, the white paint staring down on him.

“That’s a very simple view on things.”  
“It’s not wrong, though.”   
“Yes. But I like things the way they are now- I can get my work done through any means possible.”   
“I’ve always loved a morally grey detective.”

_Look at them- justice. Lying through their teeth. It’s quite entertaining- two genius teenagers talking about life as though they’ve lived for 100 years. Come on boys, you’re 17. Bet you’re wondering about them and what’ll happen. You’ve barely met anybody- or me for that matter. (I’m telling this story for a reason- of course I’m bloody involved.) You’ve got the Yagami’s, Ryuzaki and the famed Touta Matsuda whom we are yet to meet. He’s a sweetheart, still a moron though. Although, the two like to talk a lot don’t they? Ugh, you wouldn’t believe the shit that comes out of their mouths...Well, I’ll get on with this again,_

_Oh yeah- this is later in the night. They ended up talking about Capitalist society- fuck me they are so boring sometimes. Can’t they just make gay jokes and talk about…?I don’t know. Literally anything other than politics._

Ryuk watched over the two...so them. Of course- two intelligent detectives...friends. Rivals. How interesting...The time was nearing. Soon he would give Light everything he wanted but could never admit to. Power. The reason his father is dead...and possibly the least bored he will ever be. Light may finally have an outlet for all of his...egoism. An inflated sense of self and a mask of being so agreeable people wouldn’t be able to believe that Light could do what he may end up doing. Whatever that is...Even so, Ryuk doesn’t have a single doubt in his mind. There is a reason he’s been watching Light for so long. He’s very promising, even without the notebook- Light had proven to be very entertaining to watch anyways. Plus… if this turns into a game of cat and mouse- seeing two friends fall apart might be the tragic scene of a lifetime.

It had evolved into being late in the night, Watari had arrived with a single change of clothes and L’s laptop at around 9 o’clock. It was now 4 o’clock in the morning, both Ryuzaki and Light were sitting in his room. There was an air mattress on the floor that Ryuzaki had neglected helping Light set up but he had gotten so comfortable on the office chair that Light used at his desk that he had refused to move- claiming that he was at ‘100% functionality and that moving now would be an act of self hatred and he does not hate himself.’

Bullshit. Obviously.

“Ryuzaki...What is Wammy’s like?”

“Loud. I have my own room though...I can leave whenever, but Watari goes wherever I go. So we’re finding somewhere else for me to go before I turn 18.”

That wasn’t the answer Light wanted- but okay.

“Okay- and?”

“It’s just...loud. I stay in my room and work. I don’t talk to many people there, it’s a waste of time.”  
“Is talking to me a waste of time?”   
“No. Because you’re smart and we’re friends.”

“Just making sure...anyways- what is your relationship with Watari?”

“He’s always taken care of me. He brought me to Wammy’s and has been with me ever since. A bit like a father...I suppose.”

Light wanted to scoff- a father? If only he knew what a father who was there for him was like...it could be jealousy? L has something Light’s never had, not really anyway.

“It must be nice…”

Light mumbled quietly- that wasn’t like him. Oh. Emotional vulnerability- time for Light to squash it beneath his heel. Forget about it.

“Are there any more like you there?”

“They’re obsessed with the idea of a successor. It’s not going to happen though. I don’t need one. Not any of the ones in line at least.”  
“A successor? That’s grand I didn’t know you were that good…”

“Someone called...B is in line. He’s our age so it makes no sense- I think he’s just smart so they’ve tried to give him some purpose. It’s stupid. It’s never going to happen.”

L said bluntly, uncharacteristically- he was careless with his words. A single initial? That’s suspicious.

“B?”

“Yes.”

A young detective, linked to a single initial. That’s such a small detail but enough for Light to pick up- clearly newer to the scene. Light had even more reason to be suspicious- He could just coax it out of him slowly.

“How long have you been a detective for?”

“Around 3 years, officially.”

“14...wow. That is impressive.”

“When did you help in your first case?”

“14.”

“Not that impressive, then.”  
“No, we’re just too alike.”

Light observed. That small, small piece of evidence which you could easily count for nothing made things make much more sense to Light. Over their time together, Light had been paying attention to his thought process, words and how he did things. Just as he had by looking at the cases L had solved. He knew that the moment he would enter the realm of detective work that L would be Light’s greatest rival. He only took cases he was interested in and was considered a very avant garde individual in the profession. Matsuda had made several comments on the way things worked with L due to visiting Interpol when he went back to Japan. He never moved back there though- he lived in England and went home for certain cases. Light or Sachiko had never asked why- purely because they already knew the answer. The case had failed and his head in command had died. Matsuda didn’t feel like he deserved to go home.

“Ryuzaki. Are you hiding something from me?”  
“Where has this line of question come from, Light?”   
“Because...I know you’re hiding something. Small things keep coming up and it’s just clicked.”

“Well- come out with it then.”

“Ryuzaki. You’re a detective, a prodigy- been working for three years at what I presume is a high level. You also said you didn’t want to lose to me. You’re morally dubious and we’ve both had many insightful conversations about deductive ability. I’ve also been suspicious of you since the moment we met.”

“I am very aware of all of these things. Other than the suspicion but I return the feeling..so- what of it?”

“You’re L. Aren’t you? The successor thing just...put L’s status into perspective for me.”

“That was...a faster discovery than I had intended.”

“So i’m not wrong? I was fully expecting you to shut it down.”

“There’s no point lying. I suppose I have been clumsier than intended. I underestimated you. It’s not going to happen again.”

Light always could rely on his instinct. He’s ought to give it more credit in the future.

_This feels very quick- doesn’t it? Should I talk about their previous week together? It’s boring. They only saw each other in class and at lunch. All they did at lunch was talk about the murder and macabre of ‘interesting cases’. Breaking things down in ways I don’t even understand. Smartasses are lost on me- sorry about that. To be honest- they had talked about several L cases in that space of time and L was_ **_very_ ** _smug about it. He’s probably more egotistical than he lets on. Charming masks, these two wear._

_I think L said something like ‘Well, yes. Obviously L is a well respected detective. He’s number one’_

_What a prick, honestly. Pat yourself on the back, yeah?_

Light and L hadn’t gone to bed that night- in fact they had spent most of it sitting upright and talking about the psychology of a murderer- or simply ‘what makes them tick?’

“You have a very good idea of how they think, Light.”

“You can just tell by how it’s done.”

“You really should become a detective…”

“I thought you didn’t want competition?”

“Working together isn’t the same as competition.”  
“Work together?”

Light raised a brow, Ryuzaki wanted to work with Light? That was slightly surprising to the young man...He knew that L worked alone and while yes, Light would be a very admirable asset to any investigation- he wasn’t convinced. Though to say his ego had a boost because he caught L being lazy was an understatement

“Ryuzaki- if there is anything worth working on, I will gladly join you.”

“Oh...well there isn’t.”  
“That’s too bad…”

Light sighed, looking to the other before he heard the door open downstairs.

“What time is it? Bloody hell it's 8 in the morning.”

“I barely noticed…”

L said as he turned his face to the clock on Light’s desk, to the right of his lamp which had been on for the majority of their time together- shining down on the cheap, wooden desk.

“Light!? I’m home!”

Oh. Sayu.

“That’s my little sister- sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Light stood up from his bed and opened the door.

“Hey- how was it?”

Light called down into the stairway as his younger sister stomped up the stairs with a bag that was far too big for one night over her shoulder.

“It was good- how are you and your frien- you haven’t slept.”

“I haven’t? I couldn’t tell- and we’re fine by the way.”

“Why don’t you ever have girls over?”

“Random question- but who says I haven’t?”

Light laughed slightly.

“You have?”

“No comment.”

“Light!”

Sayu whined before waltzing into her room and putting her bag down, Light was ready to close the door behind him before-

“Can I meet him!?”

She says excitedly, shooting out of her room and stopping the door with her body.

“Can she, Ryuzaki?”

He asked as he turned to face L, his body keeping the door from opening completely as Sayu’s weight pushed against it. Not that she’s heavy, in fact she’s so weightless a small shove from Light’s side of the door would send her tumbling.

“I don’t see why not…”

Ryuzaki said in response, slowly- playing with his hair slightly. Rubbing it between his fingers. How does she still have energy after a night at her friends house? Light pushed himself off the door, opening it for his sister to enter. She bounced into the room.

“Hello! I’m Sayu! Who are you?”

Ryuzaki adjusted himself in the seat- shuffling around as he moved his feet rigidly.

“My name is Ryuzaki...It’s nice to meet you, Sayu.” The detective says in response with a smile- oh a smile? That’s rare, thought Light. He must be trying not to scare her..She isn’t scared of much anyways.

“You seem...interesting. So you go to school with Light? That’s like...really cool because he’s really smart. So you must be too! Obviously there was that rumor but since nobody ever saw you around we didn’t believe it!”

Light dragged a hand down his face- it’s too early for her energy and he hasn’t even slept. Sayu’s energy could knock anybody off their feet if they weren’t careful.

“I see...well. I do exist. And your brother is very smart and so am I.”

“You seem cool- do you have a girlfrie-”

“Sayu, what is up with you and asking about girls?” Light interrupted, looking at his sister inquisitively. 

“I don’t know. I talked about relationships with Rachel last night- I’m curious!”

“I don’t have a girlfriend.”

L said bluntly as he played with his hair looking to clock on the desk.

“Neither does Light- what is up with that?”

“Maybe I don’t want a girlfriend?”

Light said in response, rolling his eyes as he took a seat back on his bed.

“Boyfriend?”

“Sayu, I don’t want a relationship at all.”

“You’re not denying a boyfriend.”

“Can’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”

Sayu recoiled, waving her arms frantically.

“Light!? Ewwwwww- don’t say stuff like that, it’s gross to think about.”

“What?”

“You with- like...anybody!”

Light laughed and laid back down on his bed.

“Then stop asking- if I get a girlfriend, maybe even a boyfriend- you’ll be the first to know.”

“I’m going now- I regret asking...See ya Ryuzaki!”

The girl left with just as much energy as she entered- the door closing loudly behind her with a crash. The elder brother let out a groan. How does she do it? He wished he could be so energetic all the time- he would get much more done then he already does.

“She seems nice.”

“Sayu? She’s lovely. Just energetic- tiring.”

“Boyfriend, eh?”

L teased- the prospect of relationships hadn’t come up a single time while they were together. It seemed so trivial to be in a relationship. Light didn’t care for anybody enough to do that.

“I was doing that to get her out of here- but if you’re asking about my sexuality L- I’ll be in a relationship with anybody with enough brain cells and charisma. Sex, though? Anything goes. Doesn’t bother me. Just need to be attracted to them.”

Sex really was the last thing on Light’s mind. It’s nice and all- but he doesn’t seek it out. He thinks himself very forward thinking and open- consider him fluid. The young man doesn’t care. 

“What about you, Ryuzaki?”

Light questioned, sitting up right and propping himself up on his elbows.

“I haven’t given it much thought. I don’t think about that. I think I’m gay. Actually.”

“Really?”

“Yes...I’ve never actually been attracted to a woman. But...I do find myself attracted to men. I’ve never talked to anybody about this...”

“Doesn’t really matter though, does it? I hardly think about relationships. Finding people attractive is a part of most people's lives- our lives shouldn’t revolve around romance or sex.”

Light said before finally sitting up properly, putting his hands in his lap.

“I’ve never been with a man though. Only a girl- long term girlfriend from school...she was nice, really nice. We ended up having sex- it was okay. Not as good as they make it out to be.”

Light stated, laughing softly. He really didn’t care for sex- to him it didn’t mean anything. Neither of them seemed to give a fuck about the subject.

“Really? I’m in no rush then. I don’t care for relationship’s either.”

The two nodded in agreement. This was probably the only time they’d talk about this for quite some time. 

“Want me to walk you home?”

“Watari could just pick me up…”

“We can walk past the cathedral, the bells won’t toll today. But it’s a nice sight.”

_Lovely. They’re going on a walk._

  
  


An hour after their conversation, they were already out of the house. Neither of them had changed- Light had just put on a jacket. They walked into the busy high-streets in silence. They didn’t need to talk, talking and walking can be tedious and annoying, so they decided to enjoy the sight and each other's company wordlessly. While on a cobbled path- they admired the sight of Winchester Cathedral and it’s gothic architecture, the long, skinny windows- sleek stone. Towering over them, the building of God stared back at them as the tourists walked past. Gawping and gaping at the historic monument. Ah. The Norman invasion. Thrilling times for the Anglo Saxons. The moment both of them had, had enough. Ryuzaki began to walk where Light had assumed would be his home- The Orphanage. Walking down an isolated road, L stopped in front of an old building with a large gate- the metal fencing surrounded the perimeter topped with crosses.

“This is where we part ways, Light.”

“I’ll see you on monday, then.”

“Yes...you will.”

Something in his tone was different from its usual monotony, something Light. Happiness- maybe? Contentedness. L turned around and shuffled inside, Light saw him off until he disappeared behind a large- oversized wooden door. Light began to walk home, going the way the two had previously come. His hands shoved deep in his pockets.

Walking through the busy streets, he thought to himself with the realisation that...He truly was enjoying L’s company. Which was an incredible rarity. Perhaps...L was going to Light’s true friend. Rival and friend...He’s never had that before. Light was wandering through the grass patch outside of the Cathedral. His eyes admiring the menacingly, beautiful building. That was...until he stumbled upon something. What was that? On the grass? Had someone dropped something? He walked toward it, it was black- a notebook? Why was there a notebook on the grass? He landed in front of it- looking around. It seemed as if anybody else was paying attention to it… ‘Death Note.’ Is this some sort of joke? It has to be...Notebook of death? Sure. Well...there’s no harm in taking it. Nobody else will...It looks menacing. Rightly so. Bending over, Light picked it up- the feeling of tough leather in between his fingers. The bells began to toll. Only Light could hear them. They were loud, like the type you’d hear at a funeral...or any church service for that matter.

The bells rang. For God had been found again.

  
  
  
  
  



	4. Dies Irae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A...a lot happens this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so much fun to write- especially at the end. I hope you enjoy!

_ Oh ho ho, things really are shaping up now. MORE DEATH- that really spices up the story eh? I mean- this is the moment. The pinnacle, the true beginning to lots of drama, scheming and lying. It’s very exciting- if not tragic. _

Light walked home with the notebook under his arm, hidden beneath his jacket as he rushed home. He was shamed for even considering this at all- It’s so damned ridiculous. A killer note book? Well- that’s what he had assumed. The young man hadn’t looked inside the notebook yet- what would he find? He wasn’t sure, but he wanted to find out- call it morbid curiosity, if his assumption was correct- well...what did that mean? He didn’t want to believe Gods of death existed, he had just discredited any sort of divine intervention in his conversation with L.

Reaching his destination- he was pleasantly surprised to find that his mother was home- the car was parked in the drive and he couldn't help but groan.

Opening the door, he mutters a small “I’m home.”

‘Don’t talk to me, woman. Don’t talk to me, woman, Don’t talk to me, woman’

He thought to himself aggressively, grinding his teeth.

“You and your friend totally didn’t touch any food Light-”

Oh. Food. He had totally forgotten. 

“We weren’t thinking about food- sorry. Said he had a lovely time though!”

Light stated, his words flying out in a rapid, slowing pace. Too much momentum to stop- he had to know if his imagination was playing tricks on him.

“You’re in a rush-”

“You’re right- I am. Sorry. I need some time to myself- is that okay, mum?”

“Aw..I wanted to talk to you.”

**_‘Bloody hell women- I’ve just come home.’_ **

“I know...I’m sorry, I just have a lot on my mind- I’ll make it up to you.”

It really was amazing seeing somebody’s mind and mouth on totally opposite ends on the spectrum. Light has a way with his voice though- he sounded sweet as honey as well as incredibly guilty, how does he do it?

Sachiko lets out a sigh, looking at him from the kitchen doorway, leaning against the wooden frame. She looked refreshed.

“Oh...sorry, Light. Go ahead dear- don’t worry about it.”

Light smiled apologetically to his mother, walking toward her and kissing the top of her head softly.

“Thanks, I love you, mum…”

He said quietly before disappearing up to his room before she could really reply. Light had a way of sweet talking practically anybody- he always managed to get what he wanted no matter what it was even if they didn’t know it. Knowing how to talk proved very useful in any situation, breaking somebody, getting what you want. Never underestimate a line of well strung words- it can easily become a web of lies. You’ll get trapped eventually.

Closing the door behind him, the only moment he felt safe was when the secure click of his lock rang into the room dimly.

Taking the notebook from under his arm, he gazed at it and opened it while making his way to his desk.

How to use it…?

“The human whose name is written in this note shall die…”

Oh. Bullshit- probably?

“This note shall not take effect unless the writer has the person’s face in their mind when writing their name. Therefore, those sharing the same name will not be affected.”

This is very elaborate for a prank...

“If the cause of death is written within the next 40 seconds of writing a person’s name. It will happen.”

Oh...more elaborate than he thought.

“If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack.”

So...you have options? 

“After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in 6 minutes and 40 seconds.”

This can’t be real- it really has to be a prank. But why would it be so convincing? Why was Light so interested in it? Why was he being pulled in- like his hand was moving on it’s own. His hand was already scrambling for a pen.

Wait.

Who? Who was his victim going to be…?

Thinking about it- he would need an immediate result if this was real…

It’s too risky to go for anybody local- he’d need a live news feed with some criminal on it- but they don’t do that sort of England, not frequently anyways...It was the safest way to test it. Why was he thinking so hard about this? Why was he so convinced? It’s really not possible- it’s probably some kid’s notebook who's really into the occult.

Would it really be so bad? Just to test it? Especially if it’s just a heart attack- nobody will care if some scumbag dies. However these thoughts felt...like he’s had them before. Deja Vu, again. Why? What was happening? There wasn’t a logical explanation for Light to piece together- fate? Surely, fate isn’t real, unless it is? Light grumbled to himself as he thought, his chin resting against his hand as he looked at the blank, lined pages that stared up at him viciously. This isn’t like him- to be so indecisive. What would L do?

He wouldn’t touch the damn thing, no. He would kill somebody who was going to die anyways, Ryuzaki isn’t that rigid about his moral code.

His fingers were coiled around and a pen securely- he could feel the plastic ridges dipping into the sides of his fingers- why was he gripping so tightly? Decisively, he stood up and grabbed his laptop which had been located on the floor, next to his bed frame. The young man had barely used this laptop- purely because he found solace in books more than the internet- that being said he was very proficient with technology, he just didn’t feel the need for it since his free time was spent reading or doing something else like studying. 

Placing the slim, lightweight laptop on his desk- he pulled up the lid swiftly and turned it on. Why was Light in such a rush? The bloody notebook isn’t going to go anywhere! So...what is his plan? Somebody in England dying of a heart attack isn’t that weird- there are so many smackheads and idiots who put foreign substances into their bodies, dying of a heart attack wouldn’t seem that strange. No, no. There’s no way to do this at a safe distance.

‘I’ll use the rules to my advantage...that way if it is real...I’m testing the notebook and what I can do with it’

Why is he thinking so deeply about this? Is it because deep down he knew that whatever this was real? Why? It was unexplainable- it felt like this was supposed to be his…

_ Deja Vu- bloody hell. Even I feel it and I wasn’t here when this happened. The same but different? Right? I’m beginning to think somebody is playing games with us here...The same but different. Doesn’t it feel familiar? So, what is this guy gonna do? Sadly, we don’t see live video feeds on the news like you do in other countries or at least not about any crime- you end up finding about it later. So, the plan- let’s go out and kill somebody. Just to confirm our suspicions.  _

The evening rolled around at an unhurried pace that had made Light pace around his room in anxious anticipation.

At 9:00, Light knew that the nightlife would be more than alive- but it wasn’t wild here. He’d have more luck in somewhere like London- Why was he going so far for a simple theory?

_...Or not. _

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Light sat at his desk once more. His deep eyes staring at the matte, coal black notebook- the white writing screaming at him to do something.

Light decided upon opening his laptop once more, making the effort to download a VPN in order to hide anything from strangers trying to peer in- not that there were any. He was being paranoid- even if he still wasn’t sure as to why he was so persuaded into thinking this was real.

‘Light. You’re being a fucking moron. Calm down, you need to think. This is just a prank- why are you freaking out? Just...make sure. They have no relation to you...You aren't actually going to kill anybody. This isn’t serious- Just morbid curiosity, right? Right.’

Light decided to see if there were any live crimes being committed elsewhere- perhaps he could find a live feed from a different country. Switching the VPN server to Japan, he looked up any local news- it would be early in the morning there.

Finding a major newscasting channel...A hostage situation? For the last day? What the fuck are the police doing!? Are they incompetent?

While watching the news channel...They dropped a name...and a face.

‘Kurou Otoharada’

  
  


Before Light had even processed what he could actually possibly be doing- the man's name was in the notebook. Each pen stroke full of longing for what may possibly happen.

Light gazed back at the screen, his eyes full of focus…

10...20...30...40.

Huh. Nothing.

What was he so worried about th-

“The hostages are leaving the building!”

What? You have to be kidding there’s-

“The captives are claiming that the perpetrator has collapsed-”

“Oh fuck.”

Wide eyed- Light stared at his screen. this shouldn’t be confirmation, the fucker looked like he could have dropped dead in any minute, there’s no way he actually died because of the Death Note... because of Light.

Light clasped a hand over his mouth, there’s no way. It’s no- did he just kill somebody? Had he really just killed somebody? Was he a murderer? Carrdiac arrest isn’t murder- no but he wrote his name down…

There was an undeniable sense of guilt that crashed into Light like a tidal wave- why did he do that? Why did he want to test it? He felt like throwing up and crying all at once- what good would tears do him? He’s just killed somebody.

Morality didn’t mean..well. It did mean a lot to him. He had always thought to himself that getting rid of people would probably clean up the world at a faster rate then just waiting for an already unjust justice system to deal with it- that was never going to happen- so get rid of the problem, right? Kill off the sinners. He would test it again to be sure, to get an immediate result. But criminals didn’t lull about in a place like Winchester like they did in densely populated areas of a place like Japan.

What is he thinking? Killing people isn’t right...That’s just not viable. But then...why did they have the death penalty? If that was the case why do humans feel like they can command who dies based on their actions? An eye for an eye- right? Light could say to anybody that he didn’t agree with capital punishment, just to make him look like some humaniterian who gave a shit about others- but he didn’t care that much. You could label him with having a savior complex, the need to save or help others while sacrificing himself...But even then it wasn’t out of kindness- it was to prove to himself he could do it.

Prove to himself he could do it…

Moral sacrifice…

Martyrdom.

To do this...would be an act of self sacrifice. He had always wanted to better the world- he saw that so much was wrong with it and needed fixing. The world was rotten. So why couldn’t he do something about it? If people know that there is somebody getting rid of all those who are morally depraved one name at a time- the world would become a safer place...Right?

Of course. He could do this...In fact. Light was the only one who could do this. 

_ Light did end up trying the notebook again. He got the result he wanted. He wasn’t going to stop.  _

_ Morality is an amusing topic. We all agree on set rules- a bit like the ten commandments. “Thou shalt not kill”. Or the theory of Natural Law which was imposed by Thomas Aquainas from the Middle Ages. Theology and Philosophy by extension have given us our moral code but that’s simply because we have always thought about these things. Those who reject God still agree with these types of thought- of course they do. Murder is wrong. Adultery is wrong. Humans should procreate. These are all human rules that have been with us since before fire. We don’t know why we think these things, so we take them as they are or they blame it on God and how he created us. God created us to do these things, that’s our explanation apparently. There isn’t really much explanation for the human condition or why we humans have had this outlook for so long- so Natural Law. We’ve always had it. It’s independent of political or societal thought. It’s been with us since genesis. Murder is wrong.  _

_ But that’s never stopped a lot of people. Like Cain and Abel, right? We’ve been murdering before any sort of justice system was in place- their only judge was God. Yet- even then murder, no matter where or who you are- you know it’s wrong. That’s not debatable. The reason, the cause and how you do it can either relieve you or make you look like a monster. This is where things become a debate. Murder should be wrong regardless of the reason, or Murder is acceptable if there is a viable reason. Frankly, we shouldn’t have this argument. According to natural law- murder is immoral. Yet humans...we live for it. We’ve been executing and killing as a punishment for as long as we’ve walked the earth. That’s hypocritical isn’t it? It’s wrong. But we’ll do it anyways? _

_We go directly against our coding because we’ve learned to rationalize and make taking a life acceptable under certain circumstances._ _We are fucked. That’s all I have to say about it._

_ So. What was that spiel for? That’s the thought process. Murder is okay under certain circumstances. That’s what caused this- as well as the inherent need to prove yourself. To think you’re better then you really are. It causes this sort of shit. It’s awful. It’s like a rabbit hole and somebody has grabbed you by the ankles and pulled you in. _

Light began to punish people via the use of the Death Note, calculated killings- testing and so on went into his work, he felt powerful. Like the world was going to listen. He was going to make a difference- people were going to be safe. Light was going to be a savior.

  
  


“Light?”

Snapping him out of his long, convoluted train of thought- he looked to Ryuzaki.

“Sorry- I was just thinking.”

“It’s fine...I asked you here very suddenly.”

Sitting in the seats where they had first confronted each other- Light looked to Ryuzaki with a small smile on his face.

“It’s fine. You weren’t in class and then you texted me- so if anything I’m just glad you’re still here. I thought you might have left.”

It had been two weeks since he found the Death Note. People were beginning to notice something was happening.

“Have you...been online recently?”

“Not really.”

“Light- I want you to help me with...a case.”

“You want my help?”

“I think...that. Something- someone similar to the Heartstopper is back.”

  
  


_ Ughh, Lammmmme. I will never get over how uncreative that name is. But yeah- you’re wondering about that aren’t you? Quick rewind. _

  
  


Light sat at his desk, looking down on the note, his fingers dragging across the freshly filled page. Drawing a small sigh from his lips. It was raining heavily outside- the rain splattered and splintered against his window violently. It slapped against the roof of the house- and yet Light found it oddly calming- the violence of it all. It felt fitting.

He let out a small, barely audible laugh. He truly was going to make a difference.

“You’re better than I expected.”

  
  


A broken- gruff voice sounded into the room. He wasn’t hearing things- was he? He wasn’t being crazy? He’s not a loon.

“What?”

Light said quietly to himself before turning on his chair- something was there.

Looking up- he saw it.

A misshaped head with pale, blue skin- a large, painted on smile, it’s head seemed stitched on to the rest of his body which had the semblance of feathers that blended into the creature, it’s own wings looking to be a malformation of leather and feather mixed together like some awful experiment. The creature possessed a long and humanlike frame- even appearing to wear some sort of clothes and a belt. It’s eyes had two solid rings- the outer being a deep yellow, the inner a red that seemed to gleam dimly in the lamplight of the teens room.

Light let out a yell before crashing onto the floor out of pure shock. What the fuck? What was that thing? It was phantom like- incredibly ugly. It’s teeth seemed to jeer at Light as the creature grinned. 

There it was- again. Deja vu- he’s becoming all too used to the feeling. Like this has all happened before.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody write so many names…”

The phantom continued to speak, taking a seat on Light’s bed. It’s voice seemed to grate against the man's ears- it was unpleasant to listen to.

Light’s killing was on an international scale- he wasn’t restricting himself. Justice had to be served all over the world, not just England or Japan.

The phantom continued.

“That notebook was mine.”

Light composed himself- standing upright, eyeing up the creature.

“It was…? You’re some sort of Death God?”

“We call ourselves Shinigami.”

“Ah...home always manages to find me. Somehow.”

He said as he reminisced on his childhood in Japan and the folklore he had always been exposed to. He had always liked books about fantasy- especially folktales. He had always had a fondness for the Shinigami. In all of their stories.

“Are you going to take my soul?”

“Hah! No! That was a notion you stupid humans set up...no, no. I’m here to observe.”

Ryuk stated as he sat cross legged, scratching the side of his face with his elongated fingers.

“I’ve been observing you for years, actually. I like you.”

Light widened his eyes slightly- Like him? What is that supposed to mean? He wanted Light to pick up the Death Note? He needed answers.

“That’s flattering- but why?”

“I don’t know, Light. You’re interesting.”

The shinigami laughed, his eyes leering on Light.

“Glad to know I’ve been your entertainment…”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair anxiously.

“I expected something like this might happen...but knowing I have to believe in Gods of death really exist, sure is something.”

“Expected?”

“What’s your name? If you have one?”

“Ryuk.”

Ugly name, Ugly creature. Makes sense.

“Well...Ryuk. This is quite literally a killer note book. It’s beyond science. Something...supernatural has to be involved. But to have the cause right in front of me? Jesus…”

Light tuned out of the conversation, thinking to himself. Was this confirmation? He was meant to do this? Was fate real?

“- you know, somebody with a notebook like that probably killed your father.”

That immediately brought Light’s attention back, as well as a wave of nausea. Was he being compared to that fucker? Whoever they were killed with no..code. No dignity. Light is different. He’s better. His head snapped back to Ryuk.

“More than one has been in the human world?”

“We’ll do anything to cure ourselves of boredom.”

Light sighed weakly, taking a seat on his chair.

“Killed my dad...huh?”

Light thought, slightly entertained by the thought. He’ll be better than that bastard. He will become justice. That’s what his father wanted, right? Justice. He’ll get it, even if he is dead.

  
  


_ At last, the star crossed lovers have met- Hurrah! Honestly- those two are quite the pair...Things really are overly linked to be honest. It’s a bit scary. Everything has consequences though. Right? Anyways, back to our favourite pair of overly smart, arrogant fucks. _

“The heartstopper…? What?”

Light asked, concerned. L had caught on...that’s a complication, but he can work with it. Being on the case will mean that he won’t be a suspect, not for a while at least. Light knew that...killing Ryuzaki wasn’t something he wanted to do...But justice is far more important than friendship. If he gets in the way- which he probably will. Light might need to kill him...Ugh. Just as someone good comes along- ambition means crushing them. That’s a shame. He had figured out that Ryuzaki was an alias- purely because he lacked a last name. That might be the biggest pain of all.

Ryuk hovered above Light’s shoulder, wordless. Only laughing. It was fucking annoying.

“The killings are identical- heart attacks. Only that he’s targeting criminals all over the world.”

“I- I don’t know what to say.”

Light clasped the mug of tea in his hands tightly.

“I know you’re capable of this...both you and I want to find out how the Heartstopper did it. This is closure, Light.”

L said, leaning over the table slightly, like he was desperate for a response. This wasn’t like Ryuzaki...he’s never looked so urgent...Or excited.

“I’ll do it.”

  
  
  


_ Draama! Gotta love it- betrayal, tragedy, manipulation! All you could ever want in a dynamic, right? I mean- this is going to become a very complicated game of cat and mouse. It would be easier if they weren’t friends. But two rivals? Friends? Light is going to be right under his nose and if that isn’t miserable? I don’t know what is. _

  
  


Twilight peaked over the window, the scaffolding shone into Light’s eyes, he began to squint from the light as well as pain. His body was pressed against the stairs- contorting itself against the solid behind him. Light could barely see in front of him, the sun was blinding him and he could feel hot blood pouring out of several wounds that he couldn’t explain...It was hard to breath, he couldn’t describe it- his lungs were giving up on him, like they were filling with cement rather than air. The back of his throat burned- there was an empty pit in his stomach.

He could just barely make out the newly familiar figure of Ryuk in the distance- what was he doing? What’s going on? Light was so painfully confused. His thoughts were jumbled with his own and...another Light? What the fuck? Why is he in so much pain? Is he going to die? Is he-

  
  


Light’s eyes opened slowly. Letting out a large groan, he lifted his hand to his face. Stretching his fingers.

“I’m still here.”

Bringing his hand downward, he rubbed his eyes. Something had washed over him, a feeling of failure. He despised the feeling. He’s never felt it, but he knew exactly what it was.

“Don’t put your trust in another fool, again. Light.”

He spoke to himself harshly, without thinking.

What did that even mean? He wasn’t sure. He just knew that he had to trust himself. He wouldn’t ever let himself fail, never. Not now...not...again? What did that mean? Was that dream supposed to mean something? Had he failed before? What did that mean ‘again’?

Ugh, it’s too early to think this hard. Putting a hand on his chest- he was pleased to find that he wasn’t bleeding or in any physical harm.

Was this linked to the deja vu he had been experiencing? It would make the most sense… Turning on his side, he looked at the clock sitting on his desk- he squinted his eyes together. 9:00? That’s early for a saturday… Oh right. Light was hunting himself down, wasn’t he?

Light could hear two adults talking from downstairs- it was the only noise in the house.

His mother and...Uncle Matsuda? Why is he here so early? Is he giving Sayu a lift somewhere?

Light clawed his way out of his bed graciously and changed into some casual clothes- he would wear something more for his visit to...wherever the investigation was going to take place. L was going to text him the address later.

Walking down the stairs- his mother was talking at 80MPH...what now?

“Sachiko- listen to me, I didn’t know until L contacted the Japanese and English Police...I can convince him, but if he’s doing this it’s probably his own choice!”

“Matsuda! This is my son! Get him out of this! He could die!”

‘Oh...L contacted the police? I suppose he would need people who had worked on something similar…’

“Someone mention me or do I have a brother nobody told me about?”

Light said as he wandered into the kitchen, immediately walking toward the kettle.

“Light! You’re working with L!? On the Kira case!?”

Sachiko cried hysterically, waving her arms about- so that’s where Sayu got it..

‘So that’s the name the people are giving me, huh? I’ve been oblivious so that I could ensure that I wouldn’t slip up right at the beginning of the case.’

“Kira? L? Well, I agreed to it. I haven’t actually gotten involved yet. Also, good morning Matsuda.”

He said, turning on the kettle, he let out a sigh.

“How did L even ask you!?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Light!”

“Good morning, Light.”

The middle aged man replied as he scratched the back of his head, his dark circles have gotten worse since Light had last seen him. He’s probably been working non stop.

“Light...why did you agree?”

Matsuda asked quietly, almost timidly.

“L had a convincing argument. Also because it has a link to the heartstopper.” Light stated as he grabbed a tea bag and the jar of honey from the cabinet above him.

“Light! You can’t do this! You could die!”

“I know. But I want closure.” Light wasn’t being his usual warm self, in response to this- he was colder than usual. He was serious about solving this case.

“You can’t do this to me! I can’t lose you!”

“Mum. I’m 18 soon. I’ll just end up on the case even if you don’t want me to be. I know- this is going to be painful for you, but I don’t like the idea of some mass murderer taking out hundreds of lives. I don’t want another family to end up like us.”

“I don’t care about them! I care about you!”

“Mum. You can’t change my mind. I’m not turning down an opportunity to work with L either.” 

Matsuda piped up, putting a hand on Light’s shoulder as he began to pour the boiling water into the white mug in front of him.

“Are you sure? L is shifty...It’s dangerous. I don’t want you getting hurt. I know that...if anybody can solve this it’s probably you and L.”

‘Oh...Only if they knew.’

“I’m more than sure. I’m also very aware- but L and I get along. It’ll be fine. I know what risks I’m taking. I’m actually a bit surprised he’s asking the police for help…”

Light stated as he pulled open a drawer and took out a teaspoon for the honey.

“Light- how do you know L?”

He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“We’re friends.”

“Yes, but how?”

“I literally can’t tell you because L’s whole thing is being anonymous and I’m not ratting him out.”

Scooping honey out of the jar, he began to put it into the tea at a slow pace.

“I’ll be on the case too.”

Matsuda replied sternly.

‘Ah...redemption, is it?’

“Then we’ll be working together- that’s nice.”

Actually- in retrospect. Light felt some sort of betrayal because of Matsuda. Like he had done something to wrong Light in the past, when he really hadn’t. It was...distaste. A bitter taste in his mouth. Light probably knew more about the Heartstopper case than Matsuda. He seemed useless considering Light had more deductive ability than him and his father combined- the majority power being Light’s father. But Matsuda was driven and loyal...That alone would be enough for a case like this.

Sachiko stood there- stunned by their casual behavior.

“Do either of you value your lives!?”

“I value my life plenty. But my life means nothing in comparison to thousands of people dropping dead. It’s murder. Detectives solve murders.”

Cold, again. That should be a loud enough message.

“You’re not a detective, Light!”

“Both you and I know that I don’t need to go through training to know that I’m more than capable of this, Mum.”

“You’re 17!”

“I am?”

“Light!”

Matsuda let out another, hushed sigh as Light began to mix his tea, the spoon ever so slightly colliding with the ceramic and making a dim clinking sound.

“You’re not being yourself!”

“No, I’m just being blunt. You really can’t change my mind.”

“He’s stubborn like his father. He won’t budge.”

‘Don’t compare me to a man I barely know.’

Matsuda said as he let out a huff, leaning against the kitchen sink, facing the two Yagami’s…

“You realise you’ll be sent to Japan, right?”

“Good thing I’m still fluent.”

“What!? Why!?”

“L suspects the first killings were there- we’re going to the source first.” Matsuda stated as his face dropped into a tired and dejected state. What was he doing before he came here?

‘Fuck me, I really am brilliant. That’s miles off and clears me of any sort of suspicion included with L’s biased opinion of me. But he’s smart...he must have figured out the two tests I did...he really is impressive.’ 

“Trip home, possible closure. Not a bad deal to me.”

“Don’t joke about this Light!”

“Sorry…”

Light stated quietly before sighing into his mug and slowly drinking the scalding hot tea, his eyes closed as the tension lay in the room tightly.

“I’ll take you to the meeting today Light.”

“Thanks, Uncle.”

  
  



	5. confrontation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is slightly shorter, but...this is really shaping up. I hope you enjoy.

After that conversation, Matsuda had forced Sachiko to sit down and have a cup of tea, she was anxious beyond belief for what was happening and that she could lose her son to an elusive master of heart attacks and she didn’t want to deal with losing anybody else. However, she was more shocked at Light clearly choosing not to empathise with her- that had never happened. Light always listened and told her what he thought, no matter what. Her son had always listened to what she had to say...was he really so serious about this? She had never heard such a cold voice from Light before- it had always been so soft, except this time it was like he had purposely put a stone wall between them just with that change in tone. Sachiko was convincing herself it was because Light was trying to protect her, when really, Light just didn’t want to put up with any overprotective hysterics. It’s much too late for that.

Light had gotten ready, knowing that today would only be a briefing. Part of him was excited, part of him dreading how L was going to criticize Kira and his actions. Oh well- if he puts on a good performance, it’ll keep him safe. Slipping on a leather jacket, he let out a small sigh. He had already set up deaths for six months in advance and he still had to do the extra six and more. He knew that only killing criminals that would be broadcasted would put him at a major disadvantage if he suddenly disappeared- he decided he would stop that trend and set up those deaths for a day later, that way there was always a delay in finding out if Kira had decided to punish somebody- it left the investigators and the public in suspense. However, he did also enforce alternative ways of killing the sinners.. That way- not every death could be linked back to Kira without suspicion as well as uncertainty. Not having police information would change, if simply asked to borrow Matsuda’s old laptop he would have access to anything he needed- this wouldn’t be a strange request either because Light’s home laptop was bound to be given to Sayu at any rate, Light barely used it and he would need to get work done at home or on the go. He just needed the internet and a word processor. Walking down stairs, he shoved his hands in his pockets, neglecting the bannister as he came down. Matsuda stood in the doorway, his blazer was wrinkled and untidy. What has him so...distressed? Perhaps the case has just left him in shock, he hasn’t thought about anything else.

“Ready?”

The man asked as Light put on his shoes.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Tell Sayu I said good afternoon- she was up late last night.” Light called out as he shoved his hands back into his pockets.

“Love you, see you later mum.” No response, she’s sulking. 

Matsuda and Light walked out to the man’s car. It was old- he couldn’t even tell what model it was. He’s had it since they first moved to England, Light was impressed the thing was still running.

“Light...that’s your dad’s jacket.”  
“I know.”

“Why?”

“It’s fitting, don’t you think?”

Light stated before getting into the car- perhaps he was wearing the jacket for the sentiment? Or was it a statement? Light didn’t really know why he had picked it. It’s been sitting in his closet for years now- it didn’t fit him properly for years. Until now. It seemed to suit him. Matsuda seemed stunned at the statement…’fitting’? That was a bit too on the nose in reality. Matsuda, getting into his seat- let out a sigh, his heart felt heavy. This felt like something he would have done with Sochiro. It was painful.

“Light...I really don’t want you to do this.”  
“I know.”

“Why, Light?”

“I already told you why...I want closure.”

Matsuda dragged his fingers down the bridge of his nose- groaning.

“You’re a kid.”

“Keep telling yourself that, I’m more than prepared to die if I get involved.”

“Light!”

“When my father went on the Heartstopper case he knew what might happen. So do I.”

He really is his father’s son. That’s what made this hurt...he is just like Sochiro. Stubborn bastard. He cares more about honour and others rather than himself. Sochiro was like that- warmhearted until things like this were involved. There would be no stopping Light, no matter how much Matsuda wanted to avoid this.

“I...I understand.”

Matsuda began to reach around the back of the seat, contorting his body as he grabbed a light brown box. It looked to have the texture of leather. 

“I want to give you this then.”

He said as he bent back around- handing the box to Light.

“What is it?”

Light questioned, his fingers rubbing over the rough surface, much like the Death Note.

“It was a gift from your dad- I could never figure it out, hah...that old man was always lost on me.”

Matsuda states as he scratched the back of his neck- blushing out of embarrassment. Opening the box, the lid sliding upwards- there was a watch. Just normal silver...It ticked away, slowly. It was on time...But time had always felt slow to Light.

“What is there to figure out?”

Light asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he took the watch out from the box, leaving its plush compartment.

“I don’t know. Sochiro said there was something hidden. I never could find out- so I never wore it. You’re way smarter than me...it feels. Fitting for you to have it.”

That word, ‘fitting’ there it is again. Today was filled with so much reminiscing it was enough to make Light feel sick. He didn’t want to think about his father or what he was like- he didn’t want to be compared to a man who never had any presence in the family to begin with. It was more of an insult than anything. Starting the car, Light wrapped the watch around his wrist- the cold metal slithering across his skin. He liked mysteries. Light would figure this out in his own time.

The engine hummed lowly- sometimes coughing as it moved, however Light kept quiet, gazing out of the window.

“Why don’t you call me uncle that much anymore? Or Matsu? Sayu does.”

“I’m 17 she’s 14...also. I don’t know. I just stopped. I thought that kind of stuff came with age.”

The reality was that...Light had just stopped. That was that. Matsuda frowned.

“You’ve always been so smart...You’re growing up so fast. Sayu is too.”

“Tell me about it...she was so quiet as a baby and now she never shuts up.”

Light laughed softly as he leaned against the seat, looking at his uncle for a moment. Perhaps he would have respected Matsuda more if he didn’t have his inherent need for redemption. Just move on with your life.

“I wish I came to visit more.”

Huffing, he looked at Light for a moment before turning into a dark alleyway. Oh. Well...L would need a secluded place. Suppose it only makes sense.

“How long has L been cooperating with the police?”

“A week. The rest of the force dropped out once the killings had finalised their pattern.”

“Even the old force?”

“Even the old force. You and I are the only ones with any links to the original case. We haven’t met the others working with us.”

“Exciting…”

Parking the car, Light and Matsuda climbed out and began to walk toward an office building- it had been abandoned for years, Light had always speculated somebody had to be using it though- the lack of vandalism, homeless people and attempts to break in only confirmed that.

Making their way to the back entrance, Matsuda unlocked it. 

“Third floor. The real task force headquarters is going to be in Japan. They just needed somewhere discreet- I don’t get how this works.”

Matsuda stated as the two entered the building, L really is set on Japan…

‘I should increase the amount of people killed in Japan. It’ll keep him set on that…or I could increase them in another area...’

  
  


Making their way up the stairs, they found an open door and walked inside. L must be very interested in this case to reveal his face...especially so soon. Perhaps even too hasty? Kira is amongst those whom he trusts...Could he not figure out how Kira killed…?

‘Oh. That’s what it is- he’s going to try and provoke me...very smart. Maybe...I’ll give him what he wants.’

Instead of finding Ryuzaki- they found a laptop screen with a message typed out.

‘Light Yagami, Touta Matsuda. There will be a plane to Japan a week from now at Heathrow airport. The tickets are on the side. You will meet myself and the rest of the task force when you arrive. An associate will bring you to where we are. Bring minimal luggage, we will be providing living arrangements and excuses for your absence. If you are not prepared to risk your life, do not attend. - L’

Light smiled at the message.

‘Of course we’re the only ones coming...I should have expected this. Of course L isn’t going to reveal himself yet. He has something planned before thi- oh. If this is going to be exclusive to Japan...He’ll try and provoke me first there...He could be trying to trap me. Smart bastard. Although...even if I do fall for his trap- he’ll just believe they’re from Japan even more...hah! Though...do I give him evidence or an idea of how I kill? Things would be interesting if I did...but Kira may just end up embarrassed depending on if I do kill live on TV...unless. I leave a message too.’

Light was in deep thought before Matsuda picked up the tickets. Reading them and analysing them.

“I’ll take you to the airport early next Saturday.”

‘L is in Japan...fool.’

“Light?”

“Yeah? Sorry, just thinking. Good- thanks Uncle. I appreciate it.”

_Look, both Light and L are so convinced. This really is interesting._

L gazed at the screen. It had been quite some time since he was in Japan for anything...This case was interesting- he already knew how dangerous it was...so. The first step is to draw out Kira. Light would think the same...The first step- is finding out how he kills. He wanted Light to come on this case- he would do fine without him, but double the brain power meant that both of them could figure this out, he knew that Light would want this case solved just as much as him. He had seen it in his eyes- they seemed like they were burning. L admired Light- especially since through minimal clues and just a hunch, he had figured him out. It had just put into perspective that Light truly was his equal.

Kira is in Japan. Or at least he was...there had been a test. He heard about the heart attack and considered it suspicious...then. More and more people were dying- criminals were dying. He thought the death penalty was okay- but because there was law. This? This is mass murder.

Shutting off the laptop, he put it on the floor and reformed his usual sitting position. He was tired...tomorrow would be the broadcast, he hadn’t slept in...How many days? He had neglected keeping count...Oh- the day he had come back from Light’s he had slept for a day, woke up and hadn’t thought about sleep. L knew that, if he thought he was tired, it meant he was slowing down. The moment that happened, he needed sugar and rest. He would sleep for now, thinking it as preparation for the next day.

His phone buzzed- but he ignored it. Closing his eyes, melting away from reality. For a few moments. All L could see was the dark, his mind wasn’t thinking. Just darkness. Rest.

L never dreamed. If he did. They were scary.

Tonight. It happened. He dreamed.

  
  


L was sitting at his desk- he couldn’t hear what he was saying. Only his thoughts and physical feelings- even his thoughts felt far away, out of reach.

‘All data deletion.’

He was surrounded by familiar faces. Sat in his seat, about to lift a bit of cake into his mouth before... he felt sad. Panicked by this sign- his heart rate was going up- his eyes felt wide with shock- what’s happened to Watari? What’s going on? His chest tightened, his heart...is it failing? He couldn't hear anything- Why couldn't he hear anything? Only he could, just the thumping of his heart- then the silence. The bells. He lost control of his body, the strain and confusion knocking him out of his chair- but he didn’t hit the floor, somebody caught him. Looking up he saw- Light…? He looked concerned. L was dying...Light caught hi- what is he doing? Why is he looking at him like that? Light’s lips slowly began to turn upwards...his eyes turned cold. He was smirking at him. Mocking him? What did this look mean? Did Light do this? It’s not possible…

‘I knew it...I wasn’t wrong...But...I…’

L’s eyes snapped open harshly. What did that mean? Why was Light looking at him like that? Surely...he didn’t die, did he? Had L wronged Light? Was it the other way around? What just happened? L knew better than to let that affect him. He often had dreams like that...antagonising those he enjoyed the company of. He’s even had Watari kill him in a dream before. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes- he felt refreshed, his heart rate had shot up by 10 fold though...Sugar would fix that. Picking up his phone- he was surprised to find a message from Light.

‘Yagami: I’ll be there.’

That message alone- it should have brought negative feelings after that dream...But Light had a comforting effect on L. He was at his best when bouncing ideas off the other. He couldn’t feel hate for him. He didn’t know what it meant- he only trusted two people. Watari and Light. Why did he trust Light? He knew he was a liar...yet he had never had anybody treat him so...normally. Like a friend. He had never felt so understood. Because, he too was a liar.

‘Ryuzaki: I know you will. May I call you?’

‘Yagami: You don’t need to ask, you know.’

‘Ryuzaki: I’ll stop asking then.’

‘Yagami: Fantastic.’

  
  


Pressing the small phone icon, he held the phone to his ear, finger and thumb as he held up most things.

“Hello.”

L said as he sat as he wrapped an arm around the front of his knees securely. His toe brushing over his other foot.

“What does the greatest detective in the world want from me? A call is ever so rare.”

L smiled slightly at the response, he hated people who talked like that...Why was it entertaining when he did it? Because they were as smart as each other? 

“I wanted to ask you a question…”

“Go on then.”

“Light, do you believe in fate?”

“I believe that...We control our fate. But even so, some things are just meant to happen. Like...Birth. Death. Love. Maybe not Love.”

Light’s voice was soft. L observed the way Light spoke often- he knew he was a liar. But you couldn’t tell...he had a way of using his voice that just made you believe every word he said. That’s how he knew Light was a liar even so...he could very rarely tell what it was he was lying about. Light didn’t seem to have anything to hide...Unless he did?

“Why not love?”

“I don’t think you need love in order to be fulfilled. You need birth, you need death.”

Light let out a quiet laugh. What was amusing him?

“Are you okay? A question like that isn’t like you.”

“I was expecting a more optimistic answer from you…”

L said as he stood from his seat and walked toward a minifridge…’Please- let there be cake.’

“I was being honest…”

“You just told me we’re all destined to be born and then die. I expected something more poetic- you aren’t incorrect though.”

“You dodged my question, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Keep your eyes on the Japanese news channels....Goodbye.”

He hung up- he didn’t know what he was feeling, but he knew that he wanted cake.

  
  


What a fool. Light smirked to himself as the line went dead on the other side. Oh, trust is a wonderful thing.

‘Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.’

Light thought, L was handing him everything he needed to be cleared of any possible suspicion. Kira was going to win. Bloody hell.

Turning on his laptop- which he would soon be discarding for his uncle’s he turned on a major news channel and waited for something to happen.Spinning a pen in his hand out of anticipation. It was around 5:00 in the morning when this..whatever it was- aired.

“My name is Lind. L Taylor. Otherwise known, as L”

‘Very good plan...I wouldn’t know any better if we weren’t involved with each other L...That’s sad though. You lose, this time. But...I’ll give you a taste of what I can do...just to make things interesting. Neither of us can stand being bored.’

The brunet began to think through possible responses as the actor spoke- he’s probably a criminal. 

‘You really don’t value humans as much as you say you do…’

Writing the name into the notebook. He made Lind. L Taylor do something- something memorable.

“Challenge accepted, L.”

Those were Lind. L Taylor's last words before his entire body halted and then seized- clawing and gripping at his chest before slamming his head into the desk. Light would have been insulted at the words uttered at him, but he knew better than to let his pride get in the way when he was already fooling him. A taunt, as well as giving L what he wanted would be the safest bet to ensure that L’s suspicion of Kira being in Japan remained. The broadcast cut the feed. That’s good- he was expecting L to do something- the logical move would be to provoke him to kill…

But that’s right. Kira has provoked L instead- he saw through the fake. He can control people before they die...Kira, in retrospect has the upperhand...and Kira is very smart. Much smarter than L had anticipated.

Light received a call not long after. He picked up the phone- a smirk planted on his face.

“Light...did you watch it?”

“I did.”

“He got me.”

“No, no. L- don’t sound like that. Don’t you realise? He’s telling us more.”

“I know. But that was humiliating- he saw right through it. He mocked me.”

“Since when have you ever cared about that?”

“Light, this is more than we’ve bargained for...isn’t it?”

“Stop, stop talking like that. I’ll be in Japan next week- we’ll catch him. Okay?”

“Light…”

“Yes?”

“Can you arrange to come sooner? I’ll get the tickets.”

“Fine...but Ryuzaki...You just got a man killed.”

Light said, putting a pained tone in his voice.

“I know...he was going to die anyways…”

“That isn’t right.”

“Kira isn’t much better.”

“You’re right. I just thought you were.”

“Are you trying to guilt me? Light?”

“It sounds like that...doesn’t it? Sorry. I’m just- shocked. A bit.”

“Why?”

“Seeing a man call out your friend and then die isn’t pleasant.”

L closed his eyes at that word. ‘Friend’. What did it mean to the both of them? He wasn’t sure. He was at ease...having Light there. The teen had never had that, he wished that he was older, more practised. He didn’t need friends. But he wanted one. That’s miserable, isn’t it? 

“I know. Light. What should I do?”

“Why are you asking me? You’re a genius.”

“So are you.”

“Then call him out too...what do you know?”

“He’s in the Kanto region of Japan, he’s been active for three weeks- his test was the death of Kurou Otoharada...he needs a name and a face to kill...he can control people before they die.”

‘Oh? He’s certainly figured out a lot...Except that there’s a falsehood. But it will become true soon enough.’

_Why does it feel so bleak? Do you feel it too? Loss. Losing. L...he might lose. That’s actually quite a scary thought. He’s dancing in the devil's palm. Why? I’m sure you’re all angry at his trusting of Light. Let me explain something to you…_

_Ryuzaki. He has only ever had Watari- growing up he had no connections to anybody, only puzzles. Difficult puzzles, so much so that his own sense of self is whittled down to being the detective. Being L. Nobody encouraged him to be otherwise, he certainly didn’t encourage himself to do that. He didn’t even listen to Watari when he said to spend his time doing something else...To L. All there is, is the puzzle. It isn’t that he didn’t do other things- has some experiences, music, art and so on. But it all comes back to the puzzle- nobody understands that. He’s complicated- he’s a code. He’s young. When you meet somebody- who is the same yet completely different...how are you supposed to feel? Another puzzle, another code just as complicated as you are? That’s special. You want to solve the puzzle- but to do that. You need to trust the pieces in front of you._

_To understand Light, the liar. He must trust him, get underneath the lies, into the truth. See how he thinks._

_Light is a listener as well as a talker. He knows how to talk. He knows how to listen- with that he can manipulate you with just the smallest details. Light, never once has he let his guard down. L knows that. Because, they both have something to hide. What is the puzzle protecting?_

_Pride. Dignity. Plans. True thought. True words. Truth._

_Liars. They protect the truth._

  
  
  


“You will win, L.”

**_Liars, they protect the truth._ **

  
  
  



	6. disturbance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so glad people are enjoying this fic! I intend on maybe making an ask blog for the narrator? I feel like that would be pretty fun. My tumblr is @aclckwrksony! If you have any questions or whatever head over there!  
> I'm a bit scared to interact with comments- i'm not sure why, but I plan on turning that around. Seriously, people being interested in this story is so motivating haha. Please Enjoy!  
> Right now...tension is low. But- we'll get there. The mind games begin soon. Also- another very dialogue heavy chapter.

To say that Light felt accomplished would be an understatement. Not only was he fooling L, he was winning. He had utterly **humiliated him** and made him take a misstep. Light had done that, Kira had done that. Light knew that as long as criminals in Japan were dying- they couldn’t dismiss that Kira was there- in fact due to killing indiscriminately across most countries, they wouldn’t be able to pinpoint an exact location- all they know is where Kira had started. Light had gained the upper hand purely by chance and paranoia- being careful would pay off after all. The internet and a pen were all Light needed to keep L off of his trail.Plus, via keeping killing consistent and breaking the chain of killing those who are broadcasted on TV immediately- there isn’t a set pattern. Making things easier if Light has to stop functioning as Kira giving him at least 2 days to a week before it would go noticed. He chuckled to himself, reassured at his ability. Not that he really needed to be assured in the first place, he knew what he was doing, he knew how to strategize. L had a difficult opponent. He would have to die if things came too close though, even if the idea wasn’t appealing. Light looked to watch on his wrist, gazing over the silver wrapped across his wrist. He decided to see what this ‘mystery’ his father had left to be solved. It wasn’t going to be anything big- it’s a watch, but it would pass the time. Inspecting the mechanism, Ryuk had pushed himself through the floor.

“You would have lost if you weren’t lucky.”

Light hummed as he inspected the watch, beginning to twist and turn the watch, in case there weren any moving parts.

“The Gods of death have smiled upon- ah!”

Light had found that the crown of the watch could be pulled.

“What?”

Ryuk asked, before Light pulled the slim piece of metal at least 4 times, shooting out- a small compartment was revealed.

“Crafty…”

Light smirked to himself and laughed softly. His father wasn’t a fool after all...that was a comforting thought.

“Ryuk- you can use the Death Note even if the page is torn out- correct?”

“I haven’t used it like that, but I wouldn’t doubt it.”

“I’ll test that later...this might actually come in handy.”

Sliding the compartment back into its proper place, he had received a message from Ryuzaki.

‘Ryuzaki: Your flight leaves at 8 am. I took the liberty of spending some extra money on you, the same rules apply. Touta has the tickets.’

‘Yagami: Can’t wait. Thank you, don’t worry. I’ll be there soon.’

‘Ryuzaki: I’m not worried.’

‘Yagami: Don’t lie.’

‘Ryuzaki: I’m not lying.’

‘Yagami: If you say so, don’t think too hard.’

‘Ryuzaki: I can’t help it.’

‘Yagami: Of course not. See you soon.’

Light was packing his bags, restricting himself to a carry on. Too much to carry would be a pain.

Light had tested the theory. He was correct, this made his life much easier. Oh, the thing’s he’ll do with that alone. 

“Light-ooo.”

“What is it?”

“I’ve forgotten something to mention to you.”  
“What now, Ryuk?”

“Do you want to know the main difference between Light the human and Ryuk the Shinigami?”

Narrowing his eyes, he stopped for a moment. The brunet looked at the shinigami.

“Our eyes.”

“Go on.”

“The difference between you and I...is that, I don’t need to ask for anybody’s name. I see their name and their lifespan above their head at all times.”

“Name and lifespan? I guess that makes sense…”

“That way, I know who I’m killing and how many years I get. But…”

“But what, Ryuk?”

“You can have these eyes too.”

“What’s the catch?”

“Half of your remaining lifespan.”

Light let out a laugh and turned his body to face Ryuk.

“That deal...is totally out of the question!”

“But you would be able to kill Ryuzaki-”

“-I can do that on my own. I plan on creating my new world and ruling over it for quite some time. Shortening my lifespan is counter productive, and Ryuzaki could prove to be useful for now anyways. He’s under my thumb.”

Light said as he turned around and zipped up his bag.

“New world?”

“A world free of evil.”

“But you’d be the last bad person left?”

Light let out a small laugh and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Bad? Ryuk, I’m not a bad person. I’m sacrificing my own moral code just to help these people. I’m a martyr. I’m a God amongst men.”

Ryuk let out a laugh that most would find spine chilling, Light just ignored it. Paying no attention to the phantom. 

Light decided he would stay up, there was no point sleeping when such a long plane journey was ahead of him. He would sleep then- for now, he can use his free time to set up more deaths. Further punishment. Keep things on track.

The night was passing by quickly...until. He heard a knock at his door.

“Can I come in? It’s locked.”

Sayu’s voice was muffled by the door, he let out a small sigh. Putting the Death Note in his bag. He then unlocked the door, Sayu walked in, hair in her eyes, a glum look on her face. She immediately attempted to snake her arms around Light- planting her face just below his chest. Light wraps his arms around his sister, letting out a small sigh.

“What’s up…?”

Light asked softly.

“You’re leaving with Uncle Matsu...you’re going after that Kira…”

She murmured into Light’s shirt. Had she been crying?

“I am...I’ll be back before you know it, Sayu.”

“What if you get killed? Light I don’t like it when you’re not here.”

What was this feeling? It hurt for a moment- but then Light immediately shut it out. He can’t afford to get hung up on his feelings, not now.

“You think I’ll let him get me? No chance. I’ll bring his head on a platter if you want it that way.”

“No...I just want you to stay home.”

_It’s sad. Family. Close family. Close friends. Lying. It’s best if they don’t know. It’s best if they keep believing that Light is the perfect man. That’s too much pain if they find out otherwise. I wonder if Light still cares? He shouldn’t, that’s a weakness. Somebody could exploit that._

_Have you...ever had a shooting pain? Right in the heart? I have. I think...you might end up seeing why at some point. I’ve had it at various times in my life- for me...it stems from either guilt, hate or well...anytime I’ve been emotionally available. I regret anytime I’ve done that. L and Light don’t make that sort of mistake. They know not to take anything in a way which could be considered emotional. Be rational, be logical, break everything down. Emotions are a weakness. Sympathy is a weakness, guilt is a weakness, empathy is a weakness, hope is a weakness. I’ve always fucked that u- Sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about myself, you’re not here for me, not really. I’ll keep going._

Hours passed, Light walked downstairs. Matsuda would be here soon. Sachiko was waiting in the landing, hands crossed over her chest. She’s been crying. What now? Why? Why is everybody so emotional?

“Light. You can’t die.”

“I won’t mum.”

“You promise?”

“I can try.”

Holding out her hand, she held a key.

“To the old house. Stay there for a bit if you get the chance.”

“Okay...I love you. Thank you.”

Taking the key in his hand, the warm metal pressed up against his skin tightly. Pulling his mother in his arms, the brunet embraced his mother warmly, a hand stroking her hair. She began to cry, tears streaming down her face and getting onto his father's jacket. She’s crying over him again.

“I’ll be back, I swear.”

Light spoke weakly, this time. He wasn’t sure if that's the truth or not. Things were still uncertain.

A loud honk from outside made his mother jump in his arms, letting out a small chuckle- the two of them gave each other a knowing glance. Kissing the top of his mother's head, he let go of the embrace. 

“Get Sayu a tutor yeah? I’m not gonna be here for a bit.”

“Haha, of course. I’ll see you soon, bye love.”

“Goodbye, mum.”

“I’m proud of you…”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Always?”

“Mum, of course. Wish me luck.”

Light exited the house. The loud snap of the door closing causing Light to exhale deeply.

‘ Let go. You can’t afford to get caught up in feelings.’

_Okay- so. He’s off. He is going to Japan. Back home. Crazy, eh? It all comes back to there. Hm. So, the airport process is going to be boring. So is the flight- so let’s talk about the fact that L greeted them with first class tickets- what the fuck man. Is he just showing off he has money? Or perhaps he really wanted Light to just arrive already. You can’t read L unless you’re really good at people- because he really is an enigma. He probably looks like he doesn’t feel much, but beneath it all is a riptide of unaddressed feelings he’s never had a chance to feel in full. Brewing deep in his core. Below the surface. The first layer._

  
  


When Touta and Light had arrived in Japan, both- despite sleeping on the flight were fatigued rather than refreshed. Walking through to the outside of the airport. The busyness doesn’t do things for anybody who is already tired, looking at the taxi rank, they saw some ol- was that Watari? It looked like him- the sign merely said ‘Yagami and co.’ Matsuda felt undignified with that alone- he was older than Light! That should say 'Matsuda and co' or at least 'Yagami and Matsuda' Right!?

“I’m the elder.”

Matsuda grumbled as the two of them walked toward the car Light shrugged off the comment and merely laughed it off. Classic. Moron.

“He’s already playing favourites…”

Light mumbled quietly to himself as the old man opened the car door for them, ushering them in. Light, despite the predicament was happy that he could see L. Perhaps, it is cruel. However, neither of them have ever had anybody they could relate to in their lives. It’s only normal to want to know each other's company. Right? The drive was about 2 hours in awkward silence before finding themselves in central Kanto...What? What is that building? Why is it so tall? Light couldn't help but gawp for a moment- this was where they were working? It's magnificent. Being told this was their destination, the two men got out of the car and were then rushed into the building by the driver. What? They just got here. Watari had recalled that L said' I want Light here as soon as possible. It's imperative to the case.' Which was out of character- but Watari had put together that Yagami must have been the friend he had mentioned not too long ago...He couldn't help but feel proud.

Being led up the building, they entered a wide room near the top. What was this place? This seriously couldn’t be the headquarters; it was huge. Just on the elevator up that must have passed...what? 20 floors? That’s crazy....

In a room with 4 others and L. Light looked around two men...around the same age as Matsuda, a man who was slightly younger and a woman- the man and women were blonde. So he had assumed that htye must be from elsewhere- but Light really wasn't here for them. In reality, Light and L are probably the only ones smart enough to crack this cas.

“Hello…?” Touta said, hesitantly before L spun around on his chair.

“Light, It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, Ryuzaki. The flight was lovely.”

“You look exhausted.”

“I do? I couldn’t tell.”

Light smiled at the other, the other grinned quietly in response.

“I should introduce you. We have, Mogi, Aizawa, Wedy and Aiber.”

Each raised their hand as L introduced them, a very casual greeting. To be fair- anything too formal didn’t seem up L’s street.

“I look forward to working with you all.”

Light stated, bowing and then smiling at the team. More pawns, very good.

Light and L then proceeded to sit at laptops and get straight to work- everybody was slightly stunned at how quickly L and Light had managed to get on the same page and get on it. They all stood awkwardly while L and Light bounced back possible ideas- they didn’t look excited. But in the tones of the voice- they could see formidable allies. Perhaps...they did have a chance? Matsuda and the others began to mingle- waiting for any sort of direction. Ryuzaki and Light were in a world of their own.

“Oh yes, I forgot to mention.”

L said as he leaned forward in his seat, his thumb pressing up against his lip.

“This has several rooms. Make yourself at home here.”  
“Actually- would it be possible to stay at my own place?”

“It won’t be as efficient. I need you here at all hours.”

“Ryuzaki...I just got to Japan and I haven’t had a chance to see my own home.”

“Fine...but you must stay here frequently. You will be important to this investigation.”

“I’m only a phone call away even if i’m not h-”

A voice came over the intercom.

“Ryuzaki! Look at Sakura TV.”

In a hurry- the monitor in front of the two teens showed a white screen with the text...Kira?

‘You have to be fucking kidding me. I should have seen this a mile away...What does this person want?’

A heavily distorted and low pitched voice came through on the TV. Light nearly cringed at this alone. Kira had already won against L, is this person a fool?! 

“In order to prove I am Kira, please turn to Taiyo TV. News Anchor Kazuhiko Hibima will die of a heart attack at precisely 6pm.”

They do that just- this is Kira. He collapses- similar to Lind. L Taylor. Flipping back to the Sakura. Except for Light and L everybody was showing some sort of shock. The two seemed to seeth some sort of joint anger. They both know this isn’t Kira. Kira isn’t as stupid as this.

“Shinigami. Aoyama. 12th.”

What? Oh...OH.

‘Really...Really stupid way of putting it. But I understand. You want to meet me...Aoyama, 12th. Shinigami. Second Kira. Fake kira…’

_Well, that wasn’t what Second Kira had said was incredibly convoluted and I can’t dig it out of my memory- something about Justice. It was like a badly written poem . It was bad, but effective. Light understood within moments. This was dangerous, and hours after the initial broadcast. They had come to a conclusion after figuring out the information, Light would go to Aoyama- he would fit in the most. If there was any unusual activity- he would call and the others would intervene. The surveillance cameras would be monitored the day before, the day of and after._ _Well, they had actually said Wedy should do it- but Light had insisted, saying that he wanted a chance to do something in the field rather than stay behind a screen- already showing he wanted to be a more proactive member of the team. That would force them to put their trust in Light. After this day, they would make a via of Kira in response to Second Kira._

The day of the 12th- Light woke up on the sofa of his old home. Sighing to himself- he forced himself to get ready. Trying to figure out a new routine was more difficult when your time was split between headquarters and your own home. He hadn’t even gone into his room- only the living room, kitchen and bathroom. He wasn’t in the mood for nostalgia- but today he was going undercover. Well- ‘undercover’ the man is literally Kira and due to taking the initiative in the investigation so soon- nobody suspects him. It really is something- to be getting away with everything so quickly. So effectively- though he knew part of it was luck, the fact that L trusted him was a matter of pure luck rather than anything. To say he was lucky was an understatement.

Leaving the house, Ryuk hung over his shoulder.

“You aren’t going to tell me if there is another one of you, are you?”

“No.”

“Glad that’s clear then.”

_Ugh, this is a bit boring. Nothing happens in Aoyama. He had suspected that, if this person was looking for Kira- they would do something to make a move. But the fact was, Light had lingering eyes on him, using this time to get himself clothes as well as food for his own home. Even indulging in apples for his companion in death._

_Somebody had found Kira._

After calling the headquarters, claiming nothing had happened- because nothing had happened and Light was texting them hourly to ensure that this was the case, he was even being watched the whole time. Nobody was there, fake Kira wasn’t there. Which- if anything was a bit disappointing. On his way home, he couldn’t help but feel slightly...uneasy. Something was going to happen tonight. He just wasn’t sure of what. In his own family home- he actually allocated time for himself to cook. To do something that wasn’t punishing criminals or related to Kira. It was actually quite nice to have his own space- Matsuda couldn’t step foot inside without crying so it made Light’s life much easier by dwelling in the house alone. It had been left the same as they left it- something was comforting in knowing that it hadn’t been touched in years. To have a moment of calm was nice- even if there was a second Kira, it just meant that Light being Kira was a theory nobody would touch. He wasn’t even a suspect right now- he just needs to plant evidence on somebody else and he’s free. If putting the idea that Kira’s power can be transferred in their heads would work- even if he did become a suspect, he had a way around it. Plus, Light’s morals seemed far too rigid to do anything of the sort. They don’t know him. Nobody knows him. If they did- they would end up dead. Keep up the mask...keep protecting the truth.

  
  


_Liars. Ugh._

Misa Amane, a bright girl- oncoming model superstar, goth queen and a lover of the occult and Visual Kei. That and...she adored Kira. Kira has smited the monster who killed her parents. The case had been brutal and the only way she could afford it was by becoming a model...She had always had the looks, but she was brilliant in maths and actually wanted to go into the STEM field. Many underestimated her, people at school especially. They just didn’t understand...but Kira. He did. Of course he did and the moment she had gotten her own Death Note and became good acquaintances with the shinigami Rem. She knew that...her calling in life was to serve Kira. To bring justice...Justice to those like her. The unspoken and unrecognised. Those whose lives had been ruined due to the selfishness of humanity. Kira was a God. She had found God, just through bargaining away half of her long life. In Aoyama- she sat in an apartment with a pair of binoculars and a disguise. Looking into the busiest parts of the area...her eyes- completely focused on finding somebody who lacked a lifespan...No life span. The only logical explanation as to how Kira killed was via the use of the Death Note. So she tried her hardest to ensure that they didn’t make direct contact- until now. Talk from a distance, spy from a distance. Make the attack. Find God.

“Moon- ah...No. Light...Son of- Sochiro Yagami...Deceased!?”

Oh...her God’s father was dead- that’s awful.

Reading further, scrolling down the laptop- there wasn’t much to be found until...an english link? Why England? 

Continuing to explore the internet in researching Kira- she realises that Kira was a genius...Handsome too.

“Wow...Light Yagami…”

Misa said as she fell back on her bed and looked at the ceiling.

“He’s more than I could have hoped for…”

She squeals for a moment, standing up and beginning to ready herself.

“Misa what do you plan to do?”

The ashen toned shinigami asked, narrowing their eyes and gazing intently at the girl in front of her- seeing them self in her glassy, blue eyes.

"Rem. Would you die for me? Like Gelus did.”

Misa asked as she ran a hairbrush through her blonde hair, her eyes on the creature- staring. Unsettling. Something was different about her tone.

“I cannot say.”

“Well. I would die for Kira.”

That was the end of the conversation...Rem was confused. What did that mean? Really...she probably would die for Mi- Oh. That’s what she meant. She’s in love with a man she doesn’t know. Following Misa, she knew...that whatever this was. It wasn’t going to end well.

_God. Eh? Sorry mate, some hot teenager isn’t God- alright?_

Light had just finished eating when there was a knock on his door…

What now? Can’t he have some alone time? Is that so much to ask. Sighing to himself, he stands from the kitchen table and walks to the front door. Taking a deep breath- he opens the door and-

“Hello. My name is Misa Amane.”

A girl? Why is she bowing? Why does she know him? How did she find him? Does L actually suspect Light? Is this a decoy? What’s going on?

“Hello- Miss Amane, may I ask what you’re doing here at this time at night?”

“To return your notebook to you, Mr Yagami.”

Oh… This was unexpected. Very unexpected. Fake Kira had actually found him...Hmph.

“Please, come in.”

The girl entered, while she was taking off her shoes. He closed the door behind them.

“You figured out who I was very quickly. How?”

“I have the eyes.”

‘Does she now?’

“You do?”

“Yes, you can’t see somebody’s life span if they also have the Death Note…”

“So you lured me into Aoyama and watched. Impressive.”

Misa sprung up and smiled at the other brightly.

“You really think so!?”

“I don’t like being caught. But yes.”

Light said as he led the girl to the kitchen...She seemed to be in complete awe of him. Her eyes were glued to his back.

“Did you give me an alias or your real name?”

“w-wHAT!? Why would I lie to you!”

“Calm down.”

She knows about the death note...she has the eyes. She isn’t a spy...but she could easily kill him. What does she want from him?

“What do you want?”

Light asked as he began to boil some water- choosing to make some tea for both of them.

“I want to help you...I wanted to meet you! You killed the man who slaughtered my parents! I- I want to be useful to you.”

Deja Vu. Again.

“How can I be sure you won’t just kill me?”

“Why would I do that? Why are you suspicious of me?”

“You did just come to my home unannounced, Miss Amane.”

“You can take my death note! You can literally just use me for my eyes! I want to help you! You could kill me if that satisfied you!”

Light sighs...her eyes could be very useful. Fine. 

“Do you have it with you?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

The girl rummaged around her bag and pulled out the book- handing it to Light. Touching it briefly, he put it down on the table- going back to preparing his tea. Barely paying attention to the ashen creature he could now see. The creature appeared far less docile than Ryuk...Hm. Interesting.

“What’s your name?”

He asked as he poured the boiling water into the ceramic cups in front of him.

“Rem.”

Nodding in response, he takes a seat at his table, Opting for plain green tea- how awfully traditional.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Can I see yours…?”

She asked quietly as she took a seat across from Light.

“Give me a moment.”

Standing up and walking behind her, he took a piece of the notebook out of his wallet. What? You think he’s going to walk around with it just in his watch? There’s a piece in most of his jackets too. You can’t be too prepared. Brushing the paper against the skin exposed on her neck, he lets out a sigh.

“What’s your name!?” Misa asked excitedly- looking at the leather like Shinigami. Her eyes shining with pride, Light had trusted her enough to do this? Wow...

“Ryuk.”

She grins- proud of this development, she the turns to face the brunet again.

“So- Mr”

“Just call me Light.”

“Then you can just call me Misa.”

Nodding, Light took a sip of his tea. Staying relatively quiet.

“What do you really want then, Misa?”

“I want you to be my boyfriend!”

The brunet spluttered slightly in surprise- forcing himself back into his calm composure. What? Boyfriend? Taking a deep breath he puts down his cub and thinks for a moment- the thought brewing, keeping any complications in mind other than barely knowing the woman.

“That’s too risky and too soon.”

‘Boyfriend? What was he really expecting...is that all? She wants his attention?’

“What!? Why!?”

“I’ve just come to Japan, Misa.”

“So!?”

“I’m on the investigation.”

“Are you a suspect?”

“No.”

“Why does it matter then!?”

Rubbing the bridge of his nose and then clasping his hands together, he looks at Misa. His eyes were intense. The eyes of Kira. They were a deep, dark brown. However- at times. Times like these- they seemed to flicker red- crimson. Flames.

“Misa. If there is any evidence you are involved...and we start dating all of a sudden. That will make me a suspect.”

“B-but!”

“No. I’ll work with you- I will. But in private. With time...and if we’re lucky. Maybe something can happen between us, but for now? It’s just not possible.”

“Will you be with other girls?”

“That depends on how things go.”

“Light! I don’t want you to be with other girls!”

“Misa! This is for the sake of justice. Not a relationship.”

She quietens...her eyes down cast.

“Misa…Dear...”

He says, adding a soft, caring tone to his voice. He stands up, walking behind the girls seat and wrapping his arms around her firmly.

“If you listen to me...Together...We can be the rulers of the new world…”

Light whispers softly against her skin as he holds her from behind. His head resting against her neck- he was so close to her, his breath was so warm. The whisper alone shoots a shiver down the girl's spine, stunned already by the fact that her God, her savior, was embracing her like this. 

“Will you trust me…?”

Light asked quietly- he has her right where he wants her. Rem and Ryuk are standing by observing. Rem didn’t like this- it felt so, so wrong. This man wasn’t to be trusted.

“Yes…”

Misa manages to whimper out. She was so overwhelmed by this all...it felt cathartic. Romantic...Did Light truly want her? Was his response to keep her safe? It had to be...it all felt real.

“Take two pages of the Death Note- keep it with you at all times. I’ll keep the book with me, I have a hiding place in mind.”

Misa could only manage to nod in response.

“I can’t give you any personal contacts...”

Light hummed quietly to himself. The risk of being found out through something as simple as his phone was too high...

“I- I have an extra phone.”

Misa stuttered, she so desperately wanted to take advantage of his intimate moment- but Light was clearly just thinking.

“You do? Excellent...that will be useful.”

“S-so will I be able to talk to you!?”

“No. I’ll be calling the shots. It’ll be off unless I need somebody found out or killed. I’m sorry- this arrangement probably isn’t your favourite. But...It’s the only way I can make this work. Okay?”

If Misa does become a suspect...It will be his job to get her out of it. Her eyes and blind loyalty would be useful to him. He needed that. Especially if he wants to find out Ryuzaki’s real name...he needed more leverage against him.

_Love, eh? Love is stupid. Really stupid. It makes you do dumb things and you’re essentially blind to anything that they do...they’re perfect to you._ _I think a really good way of describing Love...is calling it poison. Because it can kill you, it probably will too. It’ll tear you apart from the inside more than hate or loss- because Love numbs the senses or any sense at all. It kills you, to be loved or to love. Things that were important no longer become important. Love destroys you._

Arriving at HQ the next day, Light realised how well this may benefit him. In the chances that Misa is caught- she won’t rat him out. He knows that...as much as she loves Light- she loves Kira too. Rem had said everything she needed to to Light. Threatening his death, but Light knew better than to expect her to do it- because it would destroy Misa. Anything that puts her in danger, that gives Light something he can use to manipulate the demon. There are no losses here. He’s most likely going to succeed at this rate. Today- he was going to act as Kira in the form of a tape. Telling the second Kira to hold off and wait for a sign- this would hopefully make A-kira do something big via taking the opportunity- of course. That wasn’t going to happen. 

Finding L, typing away- looking at footage was amusing. Everybody was still asleep.

“Was there any suspicious behavior yesterday?”

“None. It could have been a red herring...a fake, perhaps? To throw us off?”

  
“That is a possibility, are you having the tapes analysed?”

“I am. They’re due to come back today.”

Ryuzaki adjusted himself in his seat, looking up at Light.

“Light...Is Kira winning?”

He asked, curious for an answer.

“No. I should start writing the script, shouldn’t I?”

“Yes...You are awfully good at getting into Kira’s mindset as shown from your previous deductions. Perhaps you’re Kira? That would be sad...I wouldn’t want you to be Kira…”

Light looked at the other and let out a laugh as he took a seat.

“I’m not Kira.”

_Lies. Seriously, fuck liars. It hurts...to be lied to. Especially by somebody you like. It hurts more to know you fell for the lie of somebody who you know lies. They both lie, a lot. But their friendship is real- very real. At least...to L it is._

  
  


“It would be very sad if you were Light...you’re my first friend.”


	7. performance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is like...L and Light development and it was pretty fun to write. Enjoy!

Light, turning his head from the monitor- his eyes drawn in on L. Stunned- unsure of what to think or say. That was until he knew.

“You’re the only person who understands me, Ryuzaki.”

They sat in silence for a moment- they weren't very sentimental. It made them uncomfortable. Light felt satisfaction in this interaction. He had the upper hand- fully and truly. The two of them are now moving onto the independent facets of their work. This is where they differed, the actor and the detective. Surprisingly similar at times- but you can only fake it for so long.

Light- writing his own Kira monologue, actually having quite a good time as he did so, not that he showed it. The mask remained on his face like fast drying cement with no signs of cracking- no imperfections or faults. The perfect performance. Yet, writing this alone, even if it was just telling second kira to back off and wait for orders...it was cathartic. Freeing, he found himself having to hold back at times ensuring that he didn’t come off as enjoying and truly reveling in the words on the page. If he enjoyed himself too much, people may find it suspicious. Furthermore- he didn’t want it to be too long either. It could come off as fear mongering which is one thing he wanted to avoid- though he knew that those who understood Kira’s plight would know that fear wasn’t warranted- those who have reason to be afraid. They should be.

Light had redrafted the monologue several times- each time it seemed to become more expressive and raw- real. L had read several drafts, impressed by how convincing they were. The thought Light could actually be Kira hadn’t crossed his mind- it just didn’t work. Light was a liar- that was certain, but the way he had talked about justice, the way he talks about justice...if he was Kira- then everything he believed was a lie. L didn’t believe that Light could lie to that extent, Light, despite his perfect words- sometimes. L could feel truth in them. Or...perhaps he was neglecting a big detail? That...that couldn’t be the case. Was their friendship blinding him to something? He couldn’t tell. Part of him...for once. Wanted to remain ignorant. That truly was a rarity...even so! There was no reason to claim Light could be Kira. Nothing has changed, everything is the same. He’s the same Light he had met a few weeks ago, there was no evidence against him either. There was nothing to make them think that Light could be Kira. So he had pushed the thought out...usually... Everybody was a suspect. Why was this different? Pushing the thought to the back of his mind- knowing better than to question his feelings when there were more important matters at hand. There’s no reason to suspect Light. 

It must have taken around 3 hours to come to a satisfied conclusion- he was truly serious about this. Of course he had to be, Kira was under the NPA’s nose, even writing a statement for them. What this is- is embarrassing for them and they don’t even know it. When the conclusion of Light’s script came- Ryuzaki and the other walked into an empty room with a microphone.

“This is where any of your future performances will be done.”

L teased as he took a seat in a chair located in the far right corner of the room. The office chair squeaked beneath him as he began to crouch.

“Giving Kira a platform- that’s not a good idea.”   
“I just want to hear what he says.”

The two teenagers let out a small laugh in response before Light began to set up for the recording.

“I hope this works.”

Light murmured to himself before beginning to record. With that- his entire posture changed. His shoulders relaxed, his back straightened- his hands rested by his sides limply.

“I am Kira. To say that I am disappointed with the actions of my counterpart would be an understatement. Justice does not mean killing anybody who may publicly disagree with me. My actions, in the eyes of many- is justice. My goal is to help those wronged by the rotten people of the world. The corruption. The filth. So, whoever this ‘other’ Kira is. Stay down. Await for a sign from me and if you further try to sully my name or hurt the innocent- you are part of the problem. This is not just a statement. It’s a warning.”

  
  


L stared at Light as he spoke- the tone had completely changed. Usually- Light’s voice possessed a soft, purr, like the words would linger slightly after he said them yet they still had a sternness that would force you to listen. Now- his voice was colder, his words felt darker- more sinister. Light’s voice had a richness he hadn’t heard before, the words had an effect- it was scary. Almost exciting. Leaning forward in his seat- he found himself entranced by this side of his friend he hadn’t seen before. He had seen the liar, but the performer? Not yet… His thumb was pressed up against his lip- pushing harder than usual, he wasn’t as aware of himself as usual. What was it that he found so...attractive? Was this attractive to him? He wasn’t sure but he knew that Light was certainly captivating in this moment. The way Light’s hands gestured were subtle but filled with great power- his stance was tall- he looked like he was in his complete element. 

‘Perhaps Light should have been an actor…’ L thought to himself as his eyes bore into Light with curiosity and awe. He had been to the theatre, consumed media. But an actor as convincing as this? He was like a different person. 

L felt as if Kira was standing right in front of him.

_ I feel bad for him. I do. Seriously, I think if he was older and had more experience Light would have become a suspect immediately or at least he wouldn’t deny the possibility of Light being Kira. Come on L- your best friend is allowed to be a suspect! Please stop this man. I hate teenagers- we’re all dumb and think we know best- we really don’t! But we’ll act like we do! _

Light’s face had changed too...it was more stoic. Like his entire face had become sharper- more vicious, rigid, unforgiving. The man’s eyes had narrowed- they were intense. They looked violent, perhaps even blood thirsty. They looked to flicker red in the intense lighting of the room- his presence alone felt brutal, dangerous, ruthless. L knew this was an act- but the presence felt so real...It was exciting, Light’s dominating demeanor showed how intimidating the teen could be if he tried...Was he trying? Seriously, it was terrifying seeing somebody change so much. Light...was perfect for the role of Kira.

Ryuzaki, intensely inspecting Light...he almost felt powerless in the presence of Kira. Was Kira truly this...frightening? What did L feel so enthralled by this? Thrilled. He could only lean in and watch- analysing. It was stupefying. Ryuzaki was hypnotised...Did he find this attractive? He could admire Light- he was handsome. He was sure Light already knew this so never bothered to tell him his thoughts on his attractiveness...but this felt so surreal. Light had two totally different sides...both felt equally perfect and well executed. The soft spoken detective and the Godlike Kira.

Rubbing one toe over the other as he watched- he couldn’t help but finally admit to himself that Light was definitely his type. He wouldn’t act on these feelings, there's no time for it. But as a teenager, it’s very easy to fall into pits of attraction and crave affection from the desired subject. As far as it went- he couldn’t help but be drawn in by the teen’s duality. He hadn’t even known that he would find that so intriguing. It felt taboo- being attracted to Light is one thing, they’re friends and he’s certainly better looking then most...but to be so drawn in by such a performance- especially one of a mass murderer. It felt wrong, awfully so- yet he couldn’t help but be wrapped up by it, like it was enveloping him in a cold traitorous embrace.

Light had done several takes just to ensure that his delivery was perfect- he could feel Ryuzaki’s eyes drawn in on him- never looking away. Barely blinking- was he seriously that good? He wasn’t trying. Finishing- he relaxes himself into his normal person. Shedding his skin had felt wonderful but that could only last so long.

“How was that?”

“Mesmerizing. I was completely convinced.”

“Is that a good or bad thing?”

“Good thing. It means this will get the second Kira to stop.”

“When is it going to air?”

“Monday.”

The rest of the day had passed by- the lad had said that the evidence they had been given lacked any DNA evidence that would benefit the case. L said that they would double their pay if they went through it more than once in order to ensure that there was nothing- for now, there was no risk of Misa being found out. Things truly were going Light’s way.

Light had gone home that day very, very pleased with himself. You would think being so immersed in a performance would be begging to be found out- apparently not. But- from now on he would have to be more careful, a gripping performance once or twice is fine, but to keep it going around the team could mean people beginning to suspect him, even if they can’t. Being too good at something isn’t always the ideal. To be honest- he was beginning to suspect that Ryuzaki was refusing to think about Light being a suspect- like he wanted L to scrutinise and interrogate him. Like he wanted to be the prime suspect- which he knew was idiotic and was probably due to just wanting the attention, he knew that wasn’t the most important thing...but even so...There was no evidence pointing to Light being Kira. Why would L even make such an assumption? There was no reason to. 

Light would message Misa and tell her to keep doing as she was until the tapes came back. He would text her if she had been found out and she would hide her pages of the notebook. Thing was- she had been meticulous. More careful that Light had thought...In fact. It was kind of boring...he decided he would increase the urgency. Light knew this was a foolish idea, but as long as he wasn’t a suspect he could afford to play with his food a little bit. Sat in his childhood room- he unscrewed the bottom of a ballpoint pen- pulling out the cartridge and pushing up the false bottom. His father had made this for him when he was young- Light had just made some...minor adjustments. Both notebooks were hidden there, taking his own. He scheduled a large spike in killings to happen across two weeks and then cease- returning to the normal schedule. Of course the toll would also be higher when Light was killing broadcasted criminals too...Things were going at a much faster pace than expected- but to say that he was excited about his plans coming into fruition so soon would be an understatement. It made him feel powerful, unstoppable, his ego was only going to get worse...but his friendship with L ensured that he was always at his best- his most consistent. He hadn’t really changed much since finding the Death Note- only his nature became more conceited- he was more willing to take risks...and ambition mattered over all. 

_ Ambition is what got Macbeth killed but...Whoo! Mass murder! Yeahhh! _

Finishing the broadcasted as well as scheduled killings, he finally turned on the phone Misa had given him. It was slim, red and clearly very expensive. He really didn't care for it, treating it as a burner phone. It could be thrown away is deemed necessary. 

‘Light: Don’t use the note at all. Keep a low profile and keep doing as you are. Soon, we’ll be able to be together. Just give it a few more days, if there’s any trouble or so on- I’ll be sure to inform you as soon as possible.’

‘Amane: Ok! I’m so excited to spend the rest of my li-’

Light immediately turned off his phone, not really wanting to read the response that he had just been sent in...Lord knows how many seconds. Impressive considering that looked like it could have been quite a lengthy paragraph. Light let out a sigh...there wasn’t much challenge or danger- which he knew was for the best, but to say this was becoming...slow. Bothered him. Perhaps if L and Light hadn’t met this would have been harder for him...perhaps if he had only lived in Japan this whole thing would have been different..That was a strange thought.

_ Small changes can mean a world of difference. _

He heard a knock from down stairs- if it was Misa he was going to lose his mind- going against his will is enough to get killed over- right? He could just find somebody to get the eyes for him, manipulation for the sake of justice wasn’t a bad thing, was it?

Morality doesn’t mean much now...the ends justify the means. Hiding the notebooks once more and putting everything in its proper place. Light went downstairs, the flooring creaking underneath his weight- the place didn’t look old...but it felt like it. Like memories of a previous family still lingered despite the Yagami’s being the only ones to have ever lived there...the house felt like a stranger to him while being equally as comforting.

Swinging the door open- he was surprised to find Ryuzaki at his front door...Oh? Interesting development.

However, something was different. He seemed more friendly- he must have bathed too because his hair seemed significantly less matted that usual.

“Didn’t expect for you to come visit- but...come in.”

You would think that Light would be anxious to find the notes...but if anything, it was interesting. As well as futile- there is no reason for L to be suspicious of Light even if the man wanted to be a suspect. Regardless, they fact they’re in the same building was enough for Light to get a kick out of it.

“Thank you, Light.”

He said, entering- Light closing the door behind him.

“So...Why are you here?”

“We can’t talk about anything in there. Especially like our normal topics, your company alone is fantastic for the case, but I was beginning to miss our normal time together.”

Ryuzaki stated, groaning slightly to himself. That felt embarrassing to admit.

Walking into the kitchen, Light prepared tea for the both of them- this was becoming something very common...but Light didn’t mind. Enjoy the simple things in life, right?

“Ten sugars?”

“Ten Sugars.”

Nodding in agreement- Light did his thing.

“Light…?”

“Yes?”

Looking up at Ryuzaki, who was now sat at the kitchen table, wrapping his arms around his knees securely.

“I’m at a loss with the case.”

“You are?”

“We have no suspects. We can keep the second kira at bay...but we can’t even find out who the second Kira is! Whoever they are clearly isn’t as intelligent as Kira…”

Light had to bite back a smile at the praise- knowing that he had stumped the world's greatest detective sent his ego flying.

“What about the tapes?”

“Nothing, Light. There’s nothing. There are no faults! There’s no real evidence. I can’t even pin down a suspect.”

Letting out a sigh, he places the sugar bowl and tea in front of L- casually taking his own seat opposite him.

“Perfect plans have perfect flaws.”

Light said as he slowly began to drink his tea- the burning sensation felt more pleasant than usual. The taste of victory? He wasn’t going to doubt it.

“I think Kira is going to give us something- he’s probably getting bored.”

“Really? I truly am fucking this up…”

“Stop doubting yourself- you’ve even said before ‘ You’re never wrong. ‘ This case isn’t over...not while I’m here. You’re the best detective in the world- but it’s okay to make mistakes. You’re still young.”

“Light. All I am is L. I need to solve this case.”

“Yes, but you need a life outside of being L.”

Light said bluntly, putting his cup down. The ceramic clashing against the wood with a dull clap.

“How am I supposed to do that now?”

“If only you had an actual school life...Ryuzaki- have you ever had a hobby or an interest outside of work?”

“Not willingly.”

“You need one.”

Light laughed softly as he placed his elbow on the table. Exhaling as he pressed his face against his palm, his fingers splaying against his skin.

“What do you propose?”

“I read in my spare time or I socialize.”

“I suppose reading wouldn’t be too bad…”

Ryuzaki considers, his thumb pushing up against his lip again, he decides to change the subject- this wasn’t that interesting to him.

“Light...what happened to you with the Kira recording today?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen acting, Light. But it felt real.”   
“It did? It was pretty simple…”

“It was?”

“I mean- yeah. I was just acting. I’ve always been good at getting into people's minds.”

“But Kira has never revealed himself.”

“You can tell a lot about a person just by how they kill. Kira seemed...Sophisticated but merciless. That’s what I tried to convey.”

“Light- you were like a totally different person, for the first time in my life- I couldn’t stop trying to analyse every movement and what it meant. Half the time I can tell- but if Kira is anything like...what you showed me? I may end up dead.”

This was the first time he could...hear something in L’s voice. Was he frightened or excited?

“Are you excited or frightened by this development? I can’t tell.”

“Both.”

Laughing, the brunet scratched the back of his neck before crossing his arms over his chest, leaning back in his seat.

“I was that good?”

“Yes. I’ll be completely transparent. I want to see it again- any insight into Kira is useful, even if it is just speculation.”

Ryuzaki gawped at Light intently, his eyes never leaving the male- this excuse was true. But for lack of a better word...It had made him feel something very foreign to him. As well as getting into the headspace of Kira...this was a personal experiment for himself. He was desperate to understand how Light could do this...was it really that simple? It couldn’t be. Radiating such a vicious aura shouldn’t be so easy for somebody so...nice. Light was one of the nicest people he knew- he may not have always acted like it...but his actions. You couldn’t fault him- and he came clean about immoral things very easily…

L understood Light was a liar- but...he just didn’t want to believe Light was so bad- You shouldn’t distrust your friend...especially your only one- right? He was still so new to this all...friendship. Any sort of relationship was lost on him. He didn’t like losing- so failing at your first friend wasn’t an option for the curious teen, he wanted to prove to himself he could do it. Now rather than later...right?

“Again?”

“Yes.”

“What would I even say or do?”

“What would Kira do?”

“Ryuzaki- are you asking me to act like Kira for you...for the investigation?”

“Why would it be for anything else? You seem to have the best insight- and you can perform.”

Huffing, Light looks at Ryuzaki- slightly confused.

“You forget I had a script.”

“Improvise.”

“You...want me to talk to you...acting as Kira? Like an investigation…?”

“Yes.”

Light exhaled a laugh and rubbed his eyes- this was...not as he was expecting. Something didn’t feel right about this. This didn’t feel like it would help the investigation...unless it would? Does he have to think so hard about this? He can use this to mock and even be more honest than usual- not that he needed a break from his mask. He was doing just fine. L couldn’t quite explain why he liked Light’s appearance of intense duality- it was most likely because he lacked it. He didn’t have man facets to his personality...you took everything at face value with L….Yet with Light, despite being as complicated...being able to unlock something so immense seemed to make him...look as if he had more pieces than he seemed. This...may help him solve the puzzle he couldn’t help but become more intrigued by.

“I can try...If this helps the case.”

“We won’t know unless it does- and if it doesn’t this will stay between us. Take it as an...experimental new venture into how to profile a criminal.”

“That isn’t convincing. But...if we treat this like an investigation- I suppose it’s possible to get a good answer...”

_ I hate teenagers so much- why are teenagers leading this case? Why aren’t the adults doing something? You’re putting so much faith in some 17 year olds it’s insane. Just because they’re geniuses doesn’t mean they can be trusted. _

“...Fine. Think of something to ask...I’ll try my hardest- but since it isn’t scripted...I don’t know if I can do this.”

L nodded. Curious to see if the same would happen as it did earlier...would he feel killing intent?

Light took a deep breath. This was a...very outlandish request. Using roleplay to identify how a person had killed was common practise- but to get into the psyche of a killer? Something feels like it’s both ethically and morally wrong- even if Light truly was Kira.  He shifted in his chair, crossing one leg over the other. No longer leaning, he sat straight and the tenseness in his body left as he placed his hands out in front of him, holding them together, clasped in a ball. Was this going to work? Probably not- he’ll just end up being rude.  L already felt the shift in personality and it left a bone chilling feeling coursing through his body...At this rate- part of him wished Light was Kira. Kira could be disappointing in comparison- unless? No. It’s not possible. Light is just talented.

“How do you kill people?”

Obviously a tester question to see if Light was capable. He turned out to be more than capable.

“You think I’ll tell you? That’s confidential as well as a stupid question to ask.”

“Do you have an accomplice?”

“I could- but what does it matter? I’m doing all the work.”

“What is your goal?”

“Ah, a question like this is actually worth answering. Helping people, the ones who are helpless- our government is revolting. It spits in the face of justice...All I’m doing is getting rid of them. They need a leader. A God.”

“A God?”

“Would you say the way in which I eliminate the sinners is anything less than Godlike, L?”

Those words felt venomous to the ear. L was loving every moment of this, how could he do it? 

“Hmph...Are you going to kill me?”

“If you become a problem I will.”

Ouch. That actually stung a little bit- did Kira not see L as a threat..at all? Was he really that fearless?

Light neglected giving the answers he wanted to. It wasn’t the time to do that. He could be truly honest another time.

“How would you kill me?”

“You mean without the means I possess now?”

“Yes.”

“Crucifixion. You see yourself as a savior- many will end up coming after you. Like the resurrection. They’ll die all the same. Except you won’t have saved humanity of sin. Consider it a compliment.”

So arrogant. Was Kira really so conceited? Probably...Light had truly thought through Kira’s psyche with what little he had, realistically.

“Or choking you with my own hands. That could prove to be quite cathartic. Though...keeping you alive to make you watch your own failure may be interesting too.”

“How old are you?”

Ah, actual questions to help profile Kira...finally. This may help throw them off even more.

“Early twenties.”

“Build?”

“Lean and sexy as fuck.”

“Very arrogant aren’t you?”

“You’re saying I’m not handsome?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Light laughed- he had said that in jest but had gotten an amusing reaction anyways.

“Of course not.”

The questions and answers became dull after that, Light old blatant lies knowing that saying too much could be risky. L must have sensed this before stopping.

“We’re done.”

Light exhaled and slumped in his hair, laughing to himself as he ran a hand through his hair- pushing it back.

“I don’t know if that was helpful. I also can’t tell if acting in such a way is fun or not.”

“Your insights into the character of Kira seem very accurate- though I can’t say we’ve managed to grasp what he actually wants other than to be some God.”

“That was all guesswork based on my own thoughts about what Kira wants- I could be very inaccurate.”

“It doesn’t feel that way. In fact, I would say being able to gage somebody with so little information is a very helpful skill. I may use this in the future when we find out more…”

“You mean I’ll have to do this again?”

“If the situation calls for it. Yes.”

“Alright then…”

To say that this was...Enlightening would be accurate. Part of him liked the roughness and brutality of Light’s interpretation of Kira...However this also helped him realise his pride was his greatest weapon. He would have to take this into consideration. But...Yes. L- despite having little to no sexuality had concluded that he found the duplicity that Light possessed incredibly attractive.  When he said he was gay- he meant it purely because he had no interest in women. Men had always been more aesthetically pleasing, but that being said most men weren’t very interesting. Light was interesting, not only that he possessed several attributes in which he lacked- empathy, duplicity, openness and well...lots of other things. Completely different yet just as complicated. That was what he found enticing about Light. As a teen- he knew that emotions made things complicated, so he avoided letting emotions interfere. This time though...despite a mass murderer on the loose. Feeling something didn’t seem so bad.

Sipping on his over sweetened tea, he mulled over what his heart and brain was processing. Physical attraction, that was certain. He had always appreciated his looks. Emotional attraction…? Was he in that deep? He wanted to scold himself. Was he becoming attached to Light? Was he already too deeply invested in him to take this back? He wanted to solve the puzzle that was Light Yagami- but was the risk of emotions too high to continue? 

But then...he would lose. Light wasn’t afraid of emotions- it didn’t hinder him...was the missing piece...emotional vulnerability? Neither of them were that open about feelings- but he knew Light would never have a problem with anybody opening up to him...he was nice like that. He gives good advice too- oh. He has seen L weak. Light never seems weak or vulnerable...does he need to get closer to see that? He wanted to see it.

“Don’t think too hard, Ryuzaki. We’re off the clock.”

“Ah...You’re right.”

_ Uh oh, Emotions. Not his forte- this isn’t good. _

“Light...when was the last time you were truly upset?”

  
  



	8. brief meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter- But you get two today! I know, I'm amazing like that!

Light pushes his chair in slightly, looking at Ryuzaki- confused.

“Where did this question come from?”

He asks, they didn’t talk about feelings much- there was always something infinitely more entertaining to talk about. However...Light couldn’t remember the time he was truly upset other than his father's death, he had never been very emotive. There wasn’t a reason to be truly upset because Light could see how pointless and miniscule everything was...how little it meant. So he had always preferred to rationalize and work around his problems- there was truly not much reason for Light to be upset because he would never give himself a reason to be sad unless he was acting.

“...I guess. When my father died...mostly because it upset Sayu and my mother. I’ve been upset over small things, but that isn’t worth remembering.”

“Really?”

L asked- to be honest Ryuzaki hadn’t been very emotional at any point in his life- He couldn’t even recall if he had cried at any point in his life either. Pushing his thumb up to his lip.

“I think...this is the first time I’ve been so...behind on a case. I think it’s making me depressed...I have no energy.”

Light gazed upon Ryuzaki with soft eyes- his deep umber eyes never lingering away from the other.

“Ryuzaki...You’re probably closer to figuring this out than the police could ever hope for.”

That was true- if anybody could figure this out it would have to be L because everybody else was a complete idiot. L was only at a disadvantage- but he wasn’t stupid. Light knew one misstep could have him fucked over completely. Light was...very lucky to have been in England rather than Japan when he first killed.

“Light...I'm being serious. All I am is L. I don’t think i’ve experienced my life at all...All it is- is work. I love my job- I do. Seriously, there is nothing compared to the feeling of solving a case...But Light- I wish I had lived my life the way you had...You’ve done things that have always seemed out of the question- school, for example. I didn’t need school- I did the exams in my room. I haven’t even experienced sitting in an exam hall.”

L sighed, he was talking more than usual- Was L….actually opening up? This isn’t something he would talk to Watari about...he seemed so much more relaxed. Like the stiffness in his body had melted away.  In realisation of what he had said, L dropped his head in defeat. Why did he feel so comfortable opening up to Light? Was it because they had admitted to each other that they understood each other better than anybody else- probably. Maybe...he felt obligated? That’s what friends do...right? They open up to each other. He hadn’t done this before…was he articulating this properly?

“Well...I can try and help...You have a lot at your disposal you know. What is it you want to experience?”

“Light- I don’t know what there is to experience. Perhaps I do, I don’t know…”

He was so uncertain- Light didn’t know what to make of it.

“Ryuzaki...When we catch Kira...We’ll do something- the two of us. I’m not letting you die without at least having done something stupid.”

“Stupid?”

“Stupid actions make for entertaining stories.”

“You’re right.”

Light...had realised what this meant. L had no reason so be suspicious of Light- so much so he could confide in him...He was completely safe. So was Misa. This means that L wasn’t really an obstacle anymore...not really. He would still need his name, he couldn’t totally shrug him off. Part of him still wanted to be Ryuzaki’s friend...he wouldn't meet anybody like him.

_ I really, really don’t like this guy. Like- come on? So- are you gonna kill him or no? Make a decision dumbass aren’t you supposed to be smart? _

A few weeks passed. The case was sluggish and even with a spike of killings they weren’t any close to figuring out who Kira was. So much so that they were getting the FBI involved. This of course, meant nothing. There is...nothing. How is there nothing? Oh yeah- Kira uses a notebook from the shinigami realm- that doesn’t make the killings very easy to trace- doesn’t it? Luckily- Misa wasn’t sloppy. Getting her friend to do all the work was the right decision. She had gotten what she wanted, Light, Kira. Justice. Crime rates were dropping all over the world- Light was achieving what he set out to do and he had with ease. Wishing for a struggle wasn’t much of an option anymore- well even if he wanted that to happen- it wasn’t going to.  Misa and Light had been spending a few days together- not by Light’s coalition she just pulled up to his home and began to help around the house- even killing while he was at work. Which he really quite appreciated, though this meant he was forced to come home most nights instead of stay at headquarters, which he was beginning to miss because he liked spending his time watching how they could comprehend what it was they were missing.

One night- something rather peculiar happened on Light’s arrival home. Misa was just sitting on the sofa, she would go to school and come here. They didn’t have family. So, staying together wasn’t too bad. Going through the motions- like they truly were partners. Surprisingly he didn’t mind her company so much- she wasn’t unintelligent and she obeyed him. Although, in truth. He really didn’t like being partners with her much- friends and working as Kira together was fine. But Misa was much too like Sayu for him to not find things awkward at times. It felt wrong- and he wasn’t the biggest fan of physical affection to begin with unless it was his family. Misa was very affectionate, energetic and always talking, he was beginning to miss having time to himself- perhaps even his family too.

Regardless, they sat and discussed future plans- they were doing fine as they were. Misa said that she wanted Light to spend more time, but that really wasn’t possible and Light had made this clear.

“I can’t Misa- L needs me there.”

“Light! You’re the man he wants to catch- just get rid of him!”   
“No.”

“Why?”

“Because there’s no reason to. We’ve made no mistakes. I’ll kill him if he becomes a problem- regardless I don’t even know his name, Misa.”

“You don’t?”   
“He hasn’t told me.”

With that statement- the door had been knocked upon. Oh. Oh...is this good or bad?

Standing up, Light goes to answer the door- 

“Light.”   
“Ryuzaki, I didn’t expect you to visit, is something wrong?”

“Other than the case? No. I just wanted to see you.”

Misa shot behind Light as soon as she heard that. Light didn’t like this- they shouldn’t be in the same building as each other. This is so wrong...stood in between the two he bites back a grimace.

“Ah- I should introduce you two. Please come in.”

“Of course- an explanation seems warranted.”

Who was this woman? He knew Light could have any girl if he wanted- but he didn’t seem fond of romance...unless they’re family? That’s not possible, they look nothing alike. Was...a girl like that, really Light’s type? He found that hard to believe.

“Hello!”

Misa beamed as Ryuzaki entered the home, Light didn’t like this. L didn’t like this and Misa was just curious as to who this man w- hah! It’s L! She really didn’t picture him being so young...or weird looking.

“Hello.”

L said bluntly in reply. Oooh no. This vibe doesn’t feel friendly at all. The three of them filed into the kitchen.

“So- this is Ryuzaki, he’s my close friend, we work together as well.”   
Light smiles- which was really a sign for ‘be friendly.’

“It’s really nice to meet you Ryuzaki- Light’s talked about you. I’m Misa by the way, we’re dating.”

‘Oh, she just HAD to say that- fucking hell.’

“Dating? You have time for that, Light?”

L asked as Light took a seat at the table.

“I’m just as surprised as you are- we met while I was out shopping, she needed some extra help with her school subjects- so we exchanged numbers and...here we are.’

This didn’t feel right- two totally different worlds were crashing into each other right now. Light and Kira. When these things crossed over by his own decision..but now? Oh- this is not good. What if Misa fucks up? For the love of God, Misa don’t fuck up.

L, Misa and Light began to talk- everything was civil well, their words were. But the way they were said? Everything was mostly about their relationship with Light and he quite literally stuck in the middle. It was like they were trying to prove something to each other- He would drop Misa if she weren’t so useful and Rem wasn’t breathing down his neck. But alas he doesn’t have much choice anymore- of course not.

A few hours passed...somehow they were still discussing Light, how…? Are they both analysing him that deeply? Of course, there is plenty to say about Light he knew that- but...L having this much to say was a bit overwhelming.  Ryuzaki would refuse to let some women- who clearly wasn’t as intelligent as either of them have this sort of bearing over Light- surely Light didn’t like her? Light couldn’t possibly want to be in a relationship with her, in comparison to L she could barely speak an eloquent sentence like he could. She was pretty- clearly very infatuated with him. Who wouldn’t be, to be honest?  Misa had felt hostility and merely retaliated- this man must have some interest in Light that Light was just not paying any attention to, this is what happens when you give attention to weirdos. She would know- she’s dealt with some unpleasant men in her lifetime.

Soon enough- Ryuzaki was leaving...Light saw him out, closing the front door behind the two of them.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you..”

“Light, I don’t need to know about every aspect of your life. I was just surprised.”

“I see...You just seemed upset. Both of you did.”

“Perhaps it’s because we spend so much time together? I don’t know. She seems nice.”

“She is.”

“I suppose I’ll have to start giving warning before I drop round.”   
“Sadly.”   
“Indeed. I’ll see you in the morning.”   
“See you then.”

Watching L leave, he couldn’t help but exhale. That was draining. Those two should never meet again if their only common interest is...well. Light.

Walking back inside, the first word he heard was-

  
  


“Lawliet.”

  
  


Light faced Misa.

“What?”

“Light, his name is L Lawliet.”

Oh. Fuck.

His name was actually L? That’s actually very smart...using his real name the entire time. Interesting, very perceptive too.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Sorry- I. I guess this means we win…”

“You don’t sound happy about it.”

”I am. I just don’t want to kill him yet.”

“Why?”

  
“It will get boring.”


	9. times change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapter's in one day, hell yeah!

Three years. Nothing. Every single country was at a loss. Three years. In that time crime rates have dropped by 70% and many governments have bent a knee to Kira. Kira’s following was bigger and more vocal than ever...Kira’s justice was slowly beginning to be a superpower. L- felt like a failure. While he was solving murders on the side- he knew that the Kira case was a complete loss. Well. Until the SPK was formed. Powerful, awful people wanted Kira found and his head on a spike. They didn’t like the way things were going- because if they weren’t careful. They would be killed too. Nobody likes surrendering their power.

Light truly was in complete control- after the first year, Light realised that nothing was happening and decided he would keep things going that way. He was too far gone to think about failure, it wasn’t an option and asking for a thrill was just going to get him killed. So in response, Kira kept killing. Never made any announcements and was ridding the world of evil at an alarmingly fast rate. Then the SPK was created...now this. This ‘Secret Provision for Kira,’ was certainly an entertaining venture- and it had given L hope. The NPA definitely had the most evidence against Kira in comparison to the FBI and other groups. See- the idea was to put them all together and find him. A mass manhunt through illegal means.Mass cooperation.

The invitation went was as simple as

‘ We want to catch Kira. Come to the US, formal dress code,only the useful ones, snitches will be eliminated.’

_Of course, it was much more eloquent than that- location and all but it really isn’t that important. We want to know what’s going to happen- I mean three years. No progress, no real opposition. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Whatever iteration of the world we’re in right now is just cruel because the numbers are far too high. Kira shouldn’t be getting away with this- even if there is more than one._

Light had been residing in Japan and working on the case with L, becoming increasingly close. They were interested in each other- in their complexities. To say that the two of them going to the US alone being a pleasant idea would be an understatement. Light could control Misa from afar and finally see if there was any chance of getting caught- but even if he did get caught...the government was kneeling for him. He has the upperhand even if they want to catch him. Actually, Light was enthralled by the idea that people- a large group of people wanted to catch him and once again he was going to be right underneath their noses. Light just needed to find out everybody’s name and boom...one by one. All of his opposition will be killed off. Maybe even including L.

“Ryuzaki...do you seriously not know how to tie a tie?”

“Watari does them for me…”

“Will it be like this when we’re in America?”

“I can’t say that it won’t be.”

“You’re definitely smart enough to figure it out for yourself.”

The two had gone shopping for formal wear, not entirely sure why they needed to be wearing suits to hunt down Kira, but to have a dress code felt like being back at school. It was quite an entertaining thought. Knowing L’s name had secretly given him so much leverage he knew that he would be able to kill him at the drop of a hat- this actually made their relationship far more appealing. Knowing that L was at his mercy.

_Pleasant shopping trips aside, this is where more things are going to happen. Including my fantastic introduction._

The flight to the US had been fine- with L having more than enough money to spoil both of them. The meeting wasn’t until the day after they arrived in the US and lodgings had already been established. It was just...a very nice hotel called the ‘Blue Note’. Was it related to the one in Aoyama? The two of them were now 20. They had truly been friends for three years and they really couldn’t stand the company of others very much. They just didn’t need to socialise because despite Light’s charming and easy going nature- he had admitted that Ryuzaki’s company was the only one he could truly stand. People are fine- but when they can’t have a conversation about anything and everything in the ways Light and L could, there was just no point making many other friends. Even with Misa around they would just talk about whatever they wanted- L really didn’t mind Misa but over their years of friendship- he still believed that Light could do so much better. Much better equating to himself but L wasn’t going to admit that to himself or Light. They were sharing a room- neither of them had a qualm since they were definitely just going to spend all of their time in the same room just talking or reading- since L had finally picked up a small hobby...Purely because it had helped the last 3 years pass in a far less soul crushing way.

L was nearly destroyed by the inactivity of the case- being unable to move forward. He had subscribed himself to terrible alternatives for solving the case- immoral in every way which would always end in Light scolding him and telling him that if they did that it just meant Kira was winning. L, had actually made the speculation that Light was a sadist, he liked seeing people in pain- not that he would ever admit it...or maybe it was just because he never saw Light in distress- not once. Always calm and collected. Why? How? L had always believed that he was calm and collected- that he wasn’t going to be tripped up by feelings of helplessness and so on. He had been that way for so long- but now it felt the balance had shifted. Light was the one in control, he was always so precise and too good at ensuring that L wasn’t going to fall apart at the seams. It was counter productive to be so emotional- because even after all these years. He was still the greatest detective in the world. It just felt like he had landed upon an impossible case. 

Yet. Even with all that hopelessness...Light was there. He had been for every step of the way. They bickered and pissed each other off at times, but even so. He was painfully good at making him feel better. His voice had become as comforting as Watari’s. His hands simply touching his shoulders was enough to make him stop tensing for once. Yet- even though after all these years...He still hadn’t figured Light out, he felt like the young man was impossible to crack, there was something missing and even if he dug into his deepest secrets- L believed that Light would remain unsolvable. Nonetheless, his counterpart seemed to have him all figured out, it was like Light had just stripped away his layers with ease. Left him bare. There was still plenty that Light didn’t know...but if Light wanted to see it all he would have to do is ask. Everytime he talked to Light about anything- he was clearly transparent and actually being honest...but...it seemed as if Light had nothing to hide. No matter how hard L looked. That was something new though- he could just barely tell when Light was lying. You’d be surprised at how rarely that actually was. L had always thought that Light was very deceitful- this his vice lay in lying. But that wasn’t true at all- or...it was and he was going easy on L. If that was the case- that was insulting. If he was hiding something...it must be dreadful. L would kill to find out what that was- fuck Kira at this point.

The moment they had entered the room- they were pleased with the outcome. It was spacious and grand, the walls were painted a cool grey that gave the room a cold appearance. It was uniform, two single beds, a vast bathroom. Putting their bags down, Light immediately took the bed closest to the bathroom and exit of the room. Collapsing down on the mattress, he let out a deathly groan.

“Bloody finally. I really don’t like planes much.”

L took the other bed and lay down, gazing up at the ceiling which was blinding white- the contrast to the walls was almost painful to the eyes.

“You never have.”

“For good reason.”

“You complain about leg room Light- we had very good seats.”  
“You underestimate how long my legs are.”   
“We are very similar hei-”

“Yes, when you aren’t slouching, when will you sort out your posture?”

L rolled his eyes at the comment before turning on his side to look at Light.

“Probably never.”

“That’s awful.”

“You slouch all the time-”  
“Only when sitting down- you end up looking like a hunchback Ryuzaki.”

“Doesn’t that make you the archdeacon of the cathedral?”

“I’m not that cruel- or deluded.”

“I think you could be.”  
“Wh- What is that supposed to mean?”

Light finally on his side as well to look at his friend, they bickered constantly. Usually over very trivial things, but the two of them found it very entertaining. They wouldn’t say it to each other's face though.

“All these years and I still don’t get you. What are you hiding Light Yagami?”

“If i wanted you to find out- you would have. But even so- there’s nothing for me to hide.”

“That's a lie.”

“You’ve finally got your lie detector working? I’ve always been able tell when you lie to me.”

“You have?”

“I have.”

“How?”

“I just know.”

L scoffed and let out a laugh- he had become more expressive. Though this quality truly was only displayed with Light.

“You just know? Bullshit.”

“I’ve got my mother's famed instinct. This is no laughing matter.”

The two of them laughed briefly before they both turned their bodies to face the ceiling.

“If you don’t shower before the meeting, I will just force you. Oh- and I’m going to fix the mess that is your hair.”

Light stated as he put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. The bed was comfortable.

“I’ll do that if you promise not to sleep.”

“Ryuzaki- I know that I slept on the plane. But you didn’t and jet lag will hit you so fast you’ll topple over tomorrow.”

“Light, it seems you’ve forgotten I have no internal clockwork and I slept two days ago- this is actually optimum thinking time for me.”

“Whatever- if you don’t let me sleep, I’ll smack you.”

“Like when you punched me in the face that one time?”

“Yes, exactly that. If not worse.”

“Fine. I don’t want to bruise that handsome face before this meeting. First impressions or whatever.”

“I really appreciate it.”  
“You’re welcome.”

Light began to unbutton his shirt, putting it to the side. It took all of L’s might just to not oogle- he had seen Light topless before, obviously. But he was a specimen. Gorgeous, Light had started picking up sports and going to the gym around two years ago- and he has never looked better. 

“I’m wiped out. So I’ll sleep now and shower in the morning. I feel lazy- don’t take the piss.”

“Yes sir.”

Light got underneath the duvet and turned on his side, kicking off his trousers and placing them where his shirt was.

Light had a lean, well built physique while neither being too bulky or skinny...he just looked. Pleasantly athletic. They had played tennis against each other- In which they ended up drawing. Both of them being particularly brutal. Within minutes Light had fallen asleep and L realised there was nothing to do other than read or pester Light. Going with the first option, he was currently reading ‘ The Handmaid's Tale.’ He didn’t know if he liked the story or not, but it was entertaining enough to keep him reading.

L, in his boredom and now no longer interested in the book, realised that he should shower now...he was painfully slow when he did shower and it was because even if he liked being clean, It felt like a waste of time- which was only the case due to his own laziness rather than it actually being a waste of time. Walking into the bathroom, L took off his clothes and folded them, putting them on the toilet seat. Collecting the sample sized bathroom products, he stepped into the shower. Turning it on- the hot water began to scratch and scour his skin- lathering himself in shower gel, he could see that his ghostly white flesh was turning a weak red- almost a pink. Sighing to himself he continued to thoroughly wash himself. Eventually, he washed his hair- eventually meaning it took him an hour to reach this stage.

An eternity later, Ryuzaki left the shower and dried himself with a towel that the hotel had provided. Thank fuck for free hotel items, he hadn’t bothered to take his own items out of his suitcase. L couldn’t tell if his relationship with Light was good for him or not- at this point he was past caring. He had never had anything like this with anybody- he was desperate to hold on.

Walking into the main room- his towel wrapped around his waist. He looked at the time...6:00...was time moving faster? They had arrived at 3:00- he read for an hour and took two hours in the bathroom- usually that felt like it took years. Perhaps it was because they were in a new place? He couldn’t tell. They had to be there at 9:00...so getting ready now would be an efficient move considering it took him ages to get ready. Opening the suitcase with a hushed zip, he looked down on his casual clothes- the usual set of a long sleeved white shirt and baggy jeans compared to a black, well fitted suit that Light had insisted he got tailored, which had turned out to be a very uncomfortable experience...but he felt as though he didn’t look too bad in it. 

After he had dried himself, even going as far as to dry his hair- he slowly pulled on the suit. Taking care not to wrinkle it. Buttoning up the top- he looked in the mirror that had been placed in front of Light’s bed. He looked so peaceful in the reflection- Light was a heavy sleeper, L knew this because once when L and Light were bickering he literally said ‘This conversation is so useless I may actually sleep instead.’ and...he followed through. L had tried to wake him up via putting headphones on him and playing obnoxiously loud music- but nothing. Out like a log. Nothing could wake him. L wished he could sleep like that…He had even fallen asleep with the lamp on. Illuminating his face ever so softly...L smiled to himself weakly before he pulled the blazer to the suit on...Looking at himself- he couldn’t help but be impressed- not bad actually. His hair was still a mess though...thinking to himself he realised Light had actually forced him to pack a hairbrush...even after refusing he ended up doing it. He actually bought one just for this- that was stupid. He should have stood his ground.

Digging into his suitcase- he shuffled through the several suits both of them had arranged to get purely because they had no idea when they were going back to Japan. Finding it- it was a cheap plastic brush with thick, black bristles with rubber balls on top of them all arranged on a hard oval palm with a cylindrical handle. Standing in front of the mirror- he began to brush his hair back- almost as if he were slicking it back...he didn’t actually have any hair product to keep this look in place though, so several strands of hair were loose at the front hanging over his features.

You could see his face clearer than usual, his cheekbones were more prominent, this alone made his face seem much sharper. Giving it a more narrow and sunken appearance. This alone nearly changed the way L looked completely. Hours passed, L had spent that time making the cheap tea that had been left there for residents of the room to drink- they had room service but he didn’t want to bother ordering without Light.

It was finally 8:00 and Light began to stir.

“Good morning.”

L said as he secured the tie around his collar- undone. 

“Hm? Morning.”

Light said quietly as he rubbed his eyes and sat up.

“What time is it?”

“8:00.”

“Fuck...I should get rea- woah”

Light gazed at his friend and saw a totally different person...For the first time. He might actually be attracted to L.

“Why don’t you look like that all the time?”

Light questioned, L’s face was more defined, and with his hair brushed back he could actually see his dull eyes.

“Like what you see?”

“Very much so. You’re actually very handsome when you put in some effort.”

“I wasn’t handsome before?”

“I never said that, but I couldn’t tell with all that hair in your face.”

Light got up and wandered to the bathroom- just walking out in his boxers. Once again- L forced himself not to look. Light was certainly much more efficient when getting ready- it had only taken him 30 minutes which L paled in comparison- however...Light couldn’t help but stare at Light while he wore a simple beige coloured suit. He looked like he was made for it- he looked stunning. So much so he had to rip his eyes away from Light.

“I can’t believe you’re wearing socks and shoes…”

Light murmured as he sipped on some of the cheap earl grey, Light was also trying not to look at Ryuzaki so much.

‘I’m supposed to kill this man- we’ve been best friends for nearly 4 years and he pulls this? He’s actually very, very attractive when he tries...and the suit? Jesus christ…’

“Is that really such a shock?”

“Yes.”

Light said, putting down the paper cup and sighing to himself. Taking the invitation from the laptop case that L had sat there while Light took his very efficient shower.

They left their room, L holding onto the keys, Light holding onto the invite. They had found a plain black Rolls Royce waiting outside...that was for them? Perhaps the SPK is more well funded than they thought. They had believed this would be more underground...Guess not. Showing the plastic card that was their invitation, they were let into the car.

The drive wasn’t long- L and Light sat on opposite ends of the car- refusing to talk much..or look at each other very much either. 

_I call it gay shock._

  
  
  


Arriving at a very large office building- L finally understood why the need for formalwear was important. Camouflage. Keep it hidden. Heh.

Getting out of the car, they entered the building- a large security guard stopped them asking for their invitation. Showing it- they were ushered through into a large meeting room on the first floor of the building. They were met with a mixed group of people from all over the world- they must have been the last to arrive. A young woman in a suit walked up to the head of the chair and coughed loudly. A signal for people to take their seats- Light actually found her familiar, he couldn’t tell where he’d met her before. Her hair was slicked back yet it seemed to spring to the sides as they guarded the back of her neck. She possessed deep, amber eyes similar to that of Light’s umber, she had tapered cheek bones and a soft jawline.

“Well- we’re all present. Just letting you know- I’m not the boss. I’m just his spokesperson? So! Welcome to america. My name is A. Just A.”

Light looked to L- in which he only shrugged in response.

“The plan is- well. Get rid of Kira, obviously. Whatever your reasons are- justice or business. It doesn’t matter, we can all agree we want the fucker gone.”

_By the way, this is me._

“We know that he started killing in Japan- if you didn’t know that. Leave.”

Nobody budged...Good.

“Thank God! You guys know the basics at least. Now. I know we want Kira gone- but right now finding out who Kira is, is impossible. We’re going to lure him out...do you remember the video stunt in Japan? We need to provoke him. Head on- get him to say something. If he ignores us, we’ll just keep pushing. We’ll manipulate the media, political leaders. If they die- at this point it’s worth the sacrifice.”

Light raised his hand, he began to speak as A paused.

“Are you being serious? Some here want to upkeep justice.”

“Good for you! Seriously, Sir. But sadly- this isn’t about justice. It’s about eradicating Kira’s false justice. It’s fear mongering and cruel- if we want to stop him chances are we’ll need to up the body count.”

“How do you intend to do this?”

“I, myself can offer my own political graces and hundreds of connections- the boss has far more than me.”

Another woman spoke up, she had dark hair and brazen- intense eyes.

“Who is this boss?”

“I won’t reveal his name- that being said I don’t know his name. But- he’s within the Yakuza in Japan so...We’re lucky he’s funding this, actually.”

“Why isn’t he here?”

“Anti-Kira measures. That and he’s hopeless at English.”

A let out a large sigh, dragging two fingers down the bridge of her nose.

“This entire building will be our place of operations. We’re masquerading as a company- hence the dress code. The floors will be split upon what you do- detectives get top floor, yadda yadda- you’ll be informed of where you are later. This is a mass collaboration. If you have better ideas- feel free to share. But for now, go forth. Visit your new work spaces. There are signs or whatever. I’ll be on the top floor as well if you need further briefing but right now we just need to compile information.”

A stood from her seat, shoving her hands in her pocket and leaving everybody. With that- all the bodies from the table dispersed and explored the building. L, Light, the dark haired women and what seemed to be her spouse or partner joined them in the elevator.

“What floor?”

Light asked with a pleasant smile.

“Ah, so are we.”

“You are? That’s nice...My name is Naomi.”

No last names? Makes sense- good precaution too.

“I’m Light, This is Ryuzaki.”

L gives a faint smile and a wave- they four of them must have been a similar age.

“I’m Raye.”

The man said, he had dark hair and blue eyes- steep bone structure. 

“Nice to meet you- I suppose we’ll be working together with A?”

Light said as he leaned against the wall of the metal box.

“I suppose that is the case...She seems peculiar.”

Light laughed softly at Naomi’s response.

“She does...but I find that the eccentric ones are often the people who get things done.”

“You’re right, haha.”

‘If they’re good...I may have to kill them.’

Walking into the top floor- it was an open space with a few closed off offices as well as supply cupboards with a dark blue carpet. There were huge monitors on the south wall- not unlike the one back at the headquarters in Japan.

A was already sitting in a chair in front of the monitors- talking to herself as she spun around.

“Don’t be an idiot- you can totally- Oh! Yo!”

Stopping the chair from rotating- she stood up and smiled at the four.

“Tell me your names later- just tell me everything you know about the case and document it. We seriously need everything we can get right now.”

They began- this was all benefiting Kira and they had no idea. Sadly- all of this information and it was inaccurate or red herrings. That is very depressing. Two hours passed. That was all? Shame that.

“Okay- so provoking him. How would we do it?”

A asked, Light piped up.

“Spreading misinformation. The Kira 2 incident showed us that he takes action against those who lie about him. This will cause an uprise- but we can bargain for some information as long as we ourselves remain anonymous. Appearing as a mass unit would probably cause a reaction.”

The four nodded in agreement.

“Good idea. I’ll figure something out. Did you know that they have a TV show for Kira now? They either really love him or they’re shit scared of him.”

A stated as she typed away at the computer, bringing up the live broadcast.

“Kira’s Kingdom- they’ve called it. Run by Sakura TV- notorious for their shitting news.”

She sighs and runs and hands through her hair, leaning back into her seat.

“Kira killed my friend. I want him dead. I mean it.”

A said- her words felt piercing in comparison to their usual blase nature.

“Sorry- take an office and do whatever or just watch this. It’ll be recorded anyways. Just...something. You can go home whenever you want, just say and they’ll arrange a car to your hotel, alright? Thank you.”

A left the floor- nobody had any idea where she was going, but Naomi and Raye were already claiming two out of the four offices.

“There’s no point having your own- we work best together.”

Light stayed as L stood up- he was planning on watching- just to see what was up with this show, what they were doing.

“You’re right. Pull in an extra chair when you’re done.”

L left Light alone, leaving him to watch this- to say it was self indulgent would be a joke if it weren’t so ironic.

Oh? A question panel?

“Why is Kira just?”

Was the question being asked...A young man- perhaps a year older than Light began to speak.

He had dark, mid length hair, a slender face and glasses. 

He began to speak.

“Kira has been saving the lives of the weak- I have never seen this amount of assault and murder cases been reduced by this much before. I’ve also never seen so many people out on the streets late at night actually enjoying themselves in Japan. Furthermore- quality of life has gone up due to real politicians free of corruption leading this country- he is doing good things for the world. There is a reason we claim him as the God of the new world.”

‘Very, very good answer- I can feel the loyalty in his words...He craves justice as badly as I do- he understands my justice. If only the people here thought like him too…’

Light wasn’t free to move as Kira while he was in America. Leaving Misa to do all the work...he had been thinking about finding himself a right hand. That way more time could be spent on throwing off the investigation...somebody like that could be very useful to him…

“What is your name sir? What is your profession?”

“My name is Teru Mikami, I’m a prosecutor.”

‘Oh...he seems perfect. Actually...having him as a right hand? Not a bad idea...Not really. Misa is only using one notebook- using both- well. That would give me the advantage...chances are, he understands who I would want killed...his profession means he would have access to lots of information too...He could be the pawn I need so I can move freely again. I just need to get rid of these people...the moment their detectives are gone...the SPK is useless. If Naomi and Raye are killed...L and I can withdraw, or I can kill L. A won’t be able to do it alone. No matter where I go...I’m always in complete control.’

  
  


The world was at Light Yagami’s mercy, there is no stopping him now.


	10. expression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Later upload than I intended lmao, I just took my time with this chapter.

Light still possessed the burner phone given to him years ago by Misa- he never used it in front of people and it was the only way to send explicit plans to Kira without being found out. Alone in their room- L had decided to go and buy a few things. Light messaged Misa, writing instructions and son as to how to get the Death Note to Mikami- it was a brief decision but Light had learnt to trust his instinct. It was one of the many gifts he had. A was standing in one of the bathrooms in the office...She had a habit of talking to herself. She always had- people had made fun of her for that, but in the end...It didn’t matter. All of those people were dead or dying.

“I’m going to die soon...this is all wrong. We have nothing...even if we try this, one failure means we won’t be able to keep going...Fuck. I don’t want to die...Well? It wouldn’t be so bad...I don’t want to live in Kira’s new world...the moment that happens. When he’s actually worshipped...that’s the day people like me don’t matter anymore. We’ll be demonised and pissed on for the rest of time...That’s depressing. I always wanted to make history...but I’ll be forced into the wrong side of it if i’m found out. God, he loves taking everything from people- doesn’t he?”

A paused, running a hand down her neck.

“I don’t even believe in God or God’s. I studied theology and I still don’t think beings like that should exist...you can’t be all merciful and all powerful if you’re a human...power festers, doesn’t it? Eats you up from the inside. Whoever Kira is must be a right prick...But if I was in his position? I don’t think I’d be much better.”

L had really just gone to find some sweets- he was having major withdrawals and just needed something to keep himself sane that wasn’t only Light’s pleasant company. Walking back to the hotel, he was in deep thought...Was he over analysing? Because after his stunning reveal the other day- The atmosphere felt different. In all fairness- Light was the only one who could make him question himself. So...if that were the case...The atmosphere had changed- to what? He couldn’t tell if it was good or bad but all he knew was that there was a new kind of tension he had never experienced before with anybody before. He would just ask Light about it- that would probably resolve his query.

Had changing his hair really made him seem more handsome? He had never cared for something so trivial when it came to himself but...It felt different. He certainly felt more confident- and the suit actually made him feel as if he should slouch just a little less. Of course- It didn’t matter to him that much- he was always going to be more concerned about other things, being attractive didn’t matter much to him. Two plastic bags of sweets in his hands- he had also spent the extra cash on some honey and green tea for Light, because he truly was very thoughtful and also as a way to get an honest answer about what was happening between them. Arriving at their room after dragging his feet for the last hour. He unlocked the door and strolled in, finding Light sat in the chair near the window- reading.

“Welcome back.”  
“You sound pleased.”

“Let me finish and you’ll have my attention- stop thinking so hard.”  
“Shut up.”

They snickered at each other, Ryuzaki, putting his bags on his bed, took a seat...but he sat normally. This was enough for Light to rip his eyes away from his book.

“You aren’t squatting- why aren’t you squatting?”

Light questioned- looking at L’s back. Surprised- he was just sitting on the edge of his bed...normally.

“This suit was a lot of money- I don’t want to crease it.”

Putting down his book, he let out a laugh.

“I can’t believe it...all it took was a suit to make you sit like a normal person?”

“I’ll go back to my usual position if you’d prefer.”

“If it will make me stop talking to your back- sure.”

Light had just done some Kira admin- he was in a good mood. Victory was almost certain...the only thing he didn’t want to think about was killing L...oh well. He was so reliant on Light emotionally, perhaps he wouldn’t care if Light was Kira? It would answer his many questions about Light’s character…

Ryuzaki turned himself around, looking at Light intently. His dark, dull eyes inspecting the other.

“Light...The atmosphere is different than usual between us.”

So- L wasn’t clueless about Light’s recent realisation about how attractive L really was. It didn’t help that L had no experience when it came to such things. Should he be truthful? Probably...It might actually be more entertaining...His relationship didn’t feel real half the time with Misa. They knew each other, she was pretty...They could claim they were in love. But Light could kill Misa without much thought if she weren’t useful to him...L though- he was nothing but a hindrance and he didn’t want him gone. Light knew that, even if he wanted to kill L. Nobody would match him. He wouldn’t ever have known anybody so alike himself if it weren’t for him...That understanding had made his plight for becoming Kira so much easier. Knowing that somebody understood him. He wasn’t alone- unknowingly L had been carrying Light’s cross to bare as well.

Standing up, Light exhaled weakly. Walking over and sitting down next to Ryuzaki. Placing his hands behind him as a support and leaning back- this may be the most normal way either of them have sat next to each other in years. 

“Describe it.”

“It’s as if...there is some sort of new tension. It doesn’t feel negative, it just hangs in the air between us…”

L said slowly as he brought one knee to his chest, wrapping his arms around it tightly. Light sat up slightly- leaning in to look at Lawliet. Bringing his hand upward- he briefly moved a piece of L’s hair away from his face. Tucking it behind his ear- this felt cliche but it certainly built up his response slightly. L couldn’t recall if they had ever been this physically close to each other- why was his breath hitching in his throat slight? What? 

“I...suppose...It’s probably because this new look of yours has...made me realise a few things…”

Light strung out his words- nearly making them painful to hear...Yet L so desperately wanted a more straightforward answer. He just wanted to hear Light’s voice say it. Was this really...what attraction felt like? Especially...mutual attention. Since meeting Light- to say that he had thought about pursuing a relationship with anybody else had never crossed his mind...he had never pictured them even being together, well...he had imagined what it could be like, but he didn’t know enough about any sort relationship to truly think about it, not on an emotional basis at least. Especially with somebody as complicated as Light- wait. What about Misa? What did this mean?

“Explain what it is-”

“Ryuzaki…”

L was actually becoming impatient, he just wanted to hear. He was both fearful and excited about what Light might do, this alien feeling felt as if it were clawing at his chest.

“- I think...leaving you in suspense might be more fun for both of us.” Light spoke in a lower, smooth tone. That was actually...cruel.

“Don’t take the piss.”

L groaned before Light stood up, smiling at the other- he took a seat on his own bed- sitting opposite.

“I’ll do as I please, actually.”  
His tone- back to normal with a smirk on his face.

Teru Mikami had idolised Kira the moment his existence was made clear- it felt like somebody was killing for him...People who he deemed worthy of death would die, just like that...Over the past three years, he had never felt more safe and capable. Justice was truly being served and Kira...was a God. The only God worth anything in his eyes- Divine judgement was being practised. Godhood was in the works. His life had been dedicated to shooting down injustice since he was a child, that wasn’t going to stop not while Kira was around. The scum was dying and the streets had never been cleaner...So. Finding a parcel...With a notebook and a letter...Had his God chosen him? Reading over everything had been a surreal experience.

To be told you were now Kira’s right hand...That he had put his faith in you was elating. 

Knowing that as long as he followed his instructions, Kira’s new world could take place. It could happen. It will happen as long as Mikami had God on his side, anything was possible. He began to punish criminals in Light’s place- increasing the rate in which people were dying...that was until...Kira’s Kingdom had been interrupted by a large warning sign.

“Kira’s justice is a farce.”

That was all it said- enraged by the blasphemy that had just been displayed all over japan...He knew he needed to do something- that was until he realised...Kira had planned this. It was now his responsibility to wait until the right moment to act…

  
  


A clapped her hands together as the four other detectives took a seat.

“Would you like to see my work?”

She asked- pressing play on a video of the previous night’s Kira’s Kingdom. Displaying the same message.

“Straight to the point, no?”

She asked as her fingers ran through her hair- pushing it back and opening up her face.

“I think this will work. Kira is all about dignity and pride- he won’t allow himself to come forward on air. If this works- we’ll have somebody on Kira’s side contact us. Thank you for the idea, Light. I mean- it’s not misinformation, but he’ll think it is.”

Naomi interjected and looked at A inquisitively.

“What do we do if we do receive a call?”

“Who would like to talk with whoever it is?”

“I could.”

Light said, leaning back in his seat, smiling softly at A.

“You seem eager. Should we record the call?”  
“No. There’s no point. They’ll figure it out and drop contacting us- or find out who we are before we can make any demands.”

Light stated as he put his hands behind his head, his three counterparts nodded in agreement.

“Oh- If we get a call that confirms Kira is still in Japan...That’s smart.”

Raye stated as he leaned forward in his seat.

“What are our demands?”

He continues, looking at the ground.

“We should...ask for how he kills.”  
Naomi stated- in which Light shot down.

“He won’t tell us that- all we’re doing is showing a societal falsehood- He’ll figure out who we’re bribing and kill them as a statement. We need to be careful.”

“Light has a point...I believe we should ask for a location. We should stop pissing about and meet Kira or at least a representative.”

L stated as he pushed his thumb up to his lip, all while his other hand was grabbling for strawberry laces.

“Isn’t that just as dangerous?”

Naomi questioned.

“It is very dangerous. It’s been 3 years without any real representation of Kira apart from pawns. Any sort of contact could be beneficial- if we force Kira to be there, even better. We can call a bluff.”

L stated before slowly beginning to suck up the lace through his lips with minimal effort. 

Raye exhaled deeply and rubbed the back of his neck.

“You think that will work?”

He inquires as L shifts his weight in his chair, bringing his knees up to his chest.

“Yes. With the money both myself and the SPK acquire we could pay off any potential guards and bring our own- you two were FBI right? Then we have two fully trained specialists. It’s time we took risks. If we die- well...that’s miserable. But we shouldn’t keep avoiding this, it’s time we faced this head on.”

L stated- looking to Light briefly before facing his laptop screen again- trying his hardest not to get distracted by any other questions he had.

“Sounds good to me. We’ll keep playing the message until we meet. That way it’s a matter of pride. If we succeed in killing Kira- we’re officially God Killers...that’s pretty cool.”

A stated as she stood from her chair and stretched.

“So- You’re on call duty, Light. Get us that info.”

Grinning- A tossed Light an old phone.

“It’s old so your voice will be just a bit scrambled. You look like a smooth talker so get us something extra if you can.

“Haha, I can try.”

“So- for now. We split off. Go to your offices. If we get a call today? Praise be to God!”

A winked playfully, Naomi laughing slightly as herself and Raye disappeared into an office together. Despite the actual lack of much unity, the five of them felt close. Not needing many words- although Light found A to be particularly intriguing. She must have been in politics- but now she’s in with the leader of some branch of the Yakuza? How does that happen? Light had scheduled for the call to be two days from now, calling too soon would seem as if Kira were desperate. He was the furthest from such and it allowed him to make preparations for their newly established plans. It also allocated him a day to do as he pleased because by the time this new plan had been created he already knew what to do- crazy that...Being a genius, gives you more free time than you bargained for. Especially since he has meticulously picked apart many ideas and how Kira could combat them.

L and Light disappeared into their office.

“I actually...feel hopeful Light.”

He said quietly as he leaned against the desk, looking at his friend- limp lidded with a small smile.

“We have a chance…”

He continues, running a hand through his hair and beginning to fidget with it slightly in between his fingers, humming.

“And it was your plan, I have to admit I was impressed.”

“By what?”

“I haven’t seen you be assertive in...months. Not since our last lead.”

“I really want to catch him, Light.”

“And you will.”

  
  


“You’re still in this...because you want to know what killed your dad, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, also because I like working with you.”

“We’re a very good team.”

“We are…”

Later that evening- when everybody had left their stations, Light couldn’t help but be relieved when L had changed into his normal attire- because now, even without the suit, he had realised that his attraction to L was justified. He had just been blind to it this entire time- thinking too much about the cover of being Kira and so on. But something told Light that after this plan his thing’s will either remain or he’ll have to kill him. Which...actually made him slightly upset for once- which was a rarity. Working for the SPK means that...this is the last attempt to stop him, if things go as planned...He wins.

What then? He wasn’t actually sure. Usually he was the type to plan ahead for everything, but ruling over the world as a God sounded like an interesting job. If he got bored- well. He’d do something about it- Wouldn’t he? Light being bored wasn’t a very safe option to consider.

Light was also in casual clothing- consisting of that of a black top and grey jogging bottoms. 

Laying down on his bed, L let’s out a loud groan as he finishes a bag of pear drops.

“Tea?”

“Please.” 

L strolled over to the counter, turning on the kettle and then facing Light.

“So...what now? I’m bored.”

Ryuzaki asked as he prepped two the paper cups they had collected from the office before coming home to the hotel.

Light thought...while there was still time left before he would have to leave him. He would admit to himself that frankly- in spite of all of Light's denial...Ryuzaki was the only person who he would let be with him. He was the only one worthy of him- if it weren't for many uncontrollable circumstances- L would have caught Kira. He knew that. It actually pissed him off a bit- knowing that part of it was just chance.

"I'm just thinking about how good you look in a suit."

Light said, exhaling deeply as he rested his arms behind his head.

"W-what?"

Oh...a stutter...uncertainty. He loved that.

"You heard me, Ryuzaki."

He wasn't good at emotions- he was but...recognising them himself was an issue. Was it love? He had never thought of that before...love. Light pondered for a moment- ah. He wasn't capable of love, but he was capable of desire. Emotional, mental and physical. Perhaps that was the same thing? But...his love wasn't like his heart was beating out of his chest. It was just knowing he wouldn't find anybody better for him. 

That moment of deja vu when they first met in Winchester probably meant something- like they were inevitable or something...that would make the most sense. Light wasn't sure of what it was he was feeling- did he really want Ryuzaki? He knew this feeling couldn't have been sudden...they have been close for nearly 4 years. Constantly together. 3 years and a bit is a long time. He didn't enjoy the company of others much, Light could say that he could talk to L about anything without getting bored though...they were so similar yet so different.The way they thought was a like- how they could break down information and use it, coming to similar conclusions. However, emotionally? They were worlds apart, Light was well regulated, if not just repressing his feelings due to his ambition in comparison to Ryuzaki was incapable of recognising his own emotions despite being fantastic at understanding and reading others, it didn’t seem he was quite in turn with his own feelings. Purely because it had never mattered in his profession- all he had ever wanted was to employ justice. To be justice. Justice didn’t need to be emotional, to have desire and if it did it shouldn’t be acknowledged...but Ryuzaki is only human. 

“For once...I think i’d prefer for you to be straight forward.”

L sighed as he began to pour the boiling water into the cups, a small hiss whispering into the stagnant air.

“I thought you liked mind games.”

“When I know what’s going on- You know me well enough to understand this kind of mind game isn’t the sort I’m experienced in, Light.”

“Neither am I.”

“You seem to understand it better than I do.”

“Light- what am I to you?”

Ryuzaki began to squeeze some honey into Light’s tea- his back now facing Light, probably to brace himself for some news that he wouldn’t know how to respond to.

“Short or long answer?”

“There’s a long answer…?”  
“Mhmm.”

Light hummed out softly as he sat up, looking to L. Should he be honest? This might be the last chance to be totally honest until he has to leave...He can afford to be sentimental. 

“Long answer.”

Laughing weakly, Light’s eyes bore into the back of L’s head.

“Let’s see then...You are the only person I would ever let figure me out...You’re the only person who deserves it, the rest of the population could die off and I’d be content knowing that I still had your company… Sometimes, I just want to destroy you. Get rid of you, because even if we’re such a good team together- I know one day I’ll have to live without you unless we get lucky. Things would be boring without you- when I was 17 I was more cynical than I let on- having you made things easier. You’ve made my job and goals easier to achieve...even if I’m not completely there yet. I crave your company. I don’t think I need anybody else.”

Light’s voice was smooth and well cut- Ryuzaki could barely hear movement from the bed and his friend walk up behind him.

“Do you recall the day we first met…?”  
Light inquired as his hands placed them upon the others shoulders, his fingers spreading against the fabric slowly.

“Didn’t you feel like...we had met before?”

Light’s voice had turned into a smooth whisper, rich and quiet.

“I felt like...I shouldn’t trust you. Like we had gone through something awful together...I think, we’re bound to find each other…”

Ryuzaki had felt the tenseness in his shoulders melt away just because of Light's touch…

“Are you implying we’re meant for each other…?”

Did he mean this in a purely platonic or romantic way? Wait- romantic? Wait? What is this? Usually- he could read these lines of thought with ease, what was making this so confusing? Why was this suddenly so illogical? Why was his heart so loud in his ears? What was this anxious feeling? Was it anxiousness?

“You could say that.”

Light’s hands ran down his shoulders and the sides of his arms, L exhaled nervously. Closing in on his friend, Light leaned up to L's ear, a smirk stitched on his face.

“Would you disagree with that statement?”


End file.
